Writer Bug

risky behavior

2011-04-27T16:44:00.004-04:00

I don't know about you, but it's hard for me to think about the makers of the TV show Lost as risk takers. Not because their show wasn't new and different and brave, but because by the time I heard of it, it was already so successful. It's hard to remember that there was ever a point where the people behind thriving creative entities were struggling and scared, just like those of us who are in the pre-pre-pre success phase of the game are.

Reading this interview with Carlton Cuse, one of Lost's executive producer's, reminded me of that point. And it also left me with this great quote to share with y'all:

"...to succeed as an artist or in any creative endeavor you must shed your fear...if you are not prepared to fail you will not create anything of lasting artistic value."

Book review: Reading as a Writer-style

2011-04-18T15:41:00.005-04:00

Book Title: The Kitchen God's Wife

Author: Amy Tan

Themes: Mother/Daughter relationships, bad marriages, Chinese/American cultures

Styles worth noting: The point of view shifts--the first and last chapters are told from the daughter's POV, the rest of the book is told from the mother's POV. This is important because the mother's story impacts how the daughter sees her, which the reader can clearly tell from the daughter's chapters. The middle chapters are told as if the mother is talking to the daughter (ie, using second person).

What I learned from the book:
Even though you know the ending from the beginning--that the mother got away from her awful first husband, got to America, and married a nice man--the book still kept you on edge wondering how she got from an awful situation in China to a much better one in America. It's a good example of how you can still have tension and drama even if the reader knows how the story turns out.

The Kitchen God's Wife is also a good example of how using multiple points of view can switch the reader's sympathy--at first, the mom seems annoying and the reader sympathizes with the daughter (at least I did). But then as the mom is telling her story, you switch allegiances and sympathize with the mother.

Tan also makes the most of every detail she mentions--foods, decorations, clothes, etc. It seemed like just about anything she mentioned offhandedly on one page got brought up again later, in a meaningful way.

Have you read anything good lately, so good you learned a lot from it?

I felt such a sense of relief when I read this

2011-03-31T12:54:00.002-04:00

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
— Albert Einstein

It actually brings tears to my eyes. Think it's a sign I should stop worrying about all the trees I can't climb and focus instead on how well I can swim? Methinks it might be...

What are your trees vs. streams? Feel free to discuss in the comments.

Re-re-revising

2011-03-21T15:49:00.004-04:00

I keep setting these deadlines for when I'll have a draft of my novel done (er, a second draft--I finished a first draft a while back, but I forgot to celebrate on here, or really anywhere. It felt awfully anti-climatic, like getting the first coat of paint down on the outside of the White House, knowing that coats two, three, and four and then all that touch up work still await you).

And the deadlines keep whizzing past. It's not because I'm lazy, mind you. It's not even because life keeps getting in the way (not most of the time, anyway). It's because every time I think I know what I'm doing with the novel, something sticks up from the page and reminds me that while I may be holding the reigns, the 300 page/pound beast I'm riding is really in control.

First it was an idea for a new crisis point that I got from a great book, Writing a Breakout Novel, lent to me by the brilliant Robyn Bradley. The book was really helpful as I thought about how to pump up the conflict as I revised, and how to make my characters more realistic. I forget exactly what words of Maass's triggered the epiphany that my main character has to have conflict with some of the people she is closest to, instead of just the "villain" of the book. But whatever words they were, they were both very illuminating, and very much a pain in the ass, since that meant undoing and redoing a lot of the manuscript. (All for a good cause--a better product--of course.)

Next came a point of view shift (from third to first). It felt felt right, but it meant changing the point of view in the ENTIRE BOOK. And that's not as easy as just changing all the "she"s to "I"s, either. It means changing anything that sounds like it's in a narrator's voice to be in a first-person character's voice.

Lastly--for now--came a great idea from a friend and fellow writer who is reading the manuscript, who suggested I make some structural changes. Just a little bit of moving this there, and that here, and this over there... Of course each of those changes means that something else has to move or change. It's like a giant game of Twister, or Jenga, or name your other favorite game where things are tenuous and may fall apart any second.

But, just like those games, revising is fun, too. After all this, I finally have two chapters that I'm really psyched about--a good, solid foundation to start building from once again.

Change--"You better learn to like it"

2011-02-24T10:55:00.002-05:00

When I was in the third grade, I got a C on an assignment I did for social studies. I was not used to getting C's, and I didn't like it. As I stood in line at my teacher's desk to get extra help on the paper, I said something like, "I hate social studies" to the friend in front of me. My teacher happened to be walking by me just then, and she took me by the shoulders and said, "You better learn to like it."

I remember thinking she was so mean for saying that, and for getting all in my face about it. But by the end of the year, I had forgiven her, and I remember giving her a beautiful bouquet of flowers as a goodbye present.

I was thinking about this teacher--Mrs. Armstrong--and that experience yesterday, when I found myself saying to myself, in the voice of a whiny third grader, "I don't like times of transition. That's why I feel so panicky and am crying so easily." And just like that, Mrs. Armstrong appeared in my head, grabbed me by my imaginary shoulders and said, "Well you better learn to like it."

She was right 25 years ago, and she's right now--I had to learn to like, or at least tolerate, social studies since I was going to have to take the subject for the next 10 years or so. And I'm going to have to like, or at least learn to handle better, times of transition because I'll be dealing with those not only for the next 10 years--but for the rest of my life.

Things are always changing. And as scary and anxiety-producing as that is, life would be awfully boring if we did the same things over and over again ala the movie Groundshog's Day.

So how exactly am I going to go from being a crying, anxiety-ridden mess to someone who calmly embraces not only change but also the time between now and when that change actually occurs?

I don't know exactly, and if you have any ideas, please please please leave them in the comments. But here are some of mine:

* I'm going to make a list of the things I need to do to help make this change happen.

* Then I'm going to delegate tasks to different days of the week. That way, I won't be relaxing at home, have the anxious thought to do X, Y, or Z, and make a mad dash to do it Right Now. I'll remind myself, I have a plan. Breathe.

* Whenever I get panicky, I'm going to acknowledge that I'm panicky, and that it's OK to feel that way. After all, change is scary, and, as Tom Petty so aptly put it, The Waiting is the Hardest Part.

* I'm going to exercise and meditate daily, the best stress relievers I know.

* And maybe I'll have a few more "conversations" with Mrs. Armstrong.

Inspirational Quote

2011-01-10T11:27:00.002-05:00

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
-- Howard Thurman

I love this quote because so often, when we wonder what to do with ourselves, there are so many competing interests. There's what we think the world needs. There's what we think will make us enough money to survive happily. And then there's that thing that somewhere deep down in the dark depths of ourselves we know we really, really want to do. Howard Thurman manages to reconcile at least two of the competing interests--what the world needs, and what we ourselves really want to do. I guess how to make money will be for another post. *smile*

New Year, New Look, New Perspective...

2011-01-07T14:24:00.002-05:00

It's been a long, long while since I've blogged. I won't bore you with the why's of that. I'll just jump right back in. And what better post to reenter with than one on New Year's resolutions?

I’ve always got a list of resolutions I want to accomplish in any given year, but this year, I’m focusing on just one: Stop Rushing. Though this is just one resolution, it comprises a few different parts:

1- If I’m already late, I need to just calm down and be OK with it. No fuming in the car. No pushing past “slow” pedestrians who are “in my way.” Just breathe, and resolve to leave earlier next time.

2- Not trying to fit so many things into a given time slot. For example, if I find I have five extra minutes in the morning before I have to leave to catch my train, I’ll think to myself, “Wow, that means I can start a load of laundry, make coffee, , and polish my shoes that I now notice are scuffed.” Then, suddenly, instead of being five minutes early, I’m fifteen minutes late.

3- Not try to fit so many things into my day/life. The examples I gave in number two? Imagine it on a larger scale as I try to plan out my day, my week, my life....

4- And most importantly of all, stay in the moment of whatever it is I am doing. I’m a planner, there’s no doubt about that, and there’s no use trying to change it, either. So I need to make a plan in the morning or at the beginning of the week of that day’s/week’s main goals, and then when I’m doing whatever I’m doing—be it laundry, work, walking Chloe, or relaxing, I need to actually be doing those things, instead of focusing on what I have to do next. But I can only do that if I've completed the first three steps of this plan. Because if I'm rushing around, forgetting to make time to go to the bathroom, there's no way I can find the presence of mind to be in the moment. None.

**OK, it's been a while since the new year started, and I haven't managed to banish rushing from the get go. I'll admit, I've found myself running for the train once or twice. But, as they say to any addict trying to give up her poison of choice, try, try again...

Hello David

2010-07-04T16:31:00.002-04:00

As long-time readers of my blog now, one of my favorite tricks for getting to know my characters is to interview them. I plan to interview each and every character in my novel-in-progress before I even look at the Word document again.

To kick off this series of interviews, here's a talk with the main character's love interest.

[A very brief synopsis of my novel in progress:
Two years ago, Emily's sister, Carrie, killed herself around her 30th birthday. The two were very close, but Emily has no idea why Carrie would commit suicide. Emily hoped she might "magically" get some insight into what happened when she herself turned 30. When that didn’t happen, she realized she needs to be more active in solving this mystery.]

Me: Hello David, thanks for agreeing to talk with me.

David: Sure, no problem. What’s up?

Me: Well, I’m writing this novel you know, and you’re a main character, the love interest if you will.

David: Wow. Really?

Me: Yup. And so I need to get to know you better, in order for me to be able to write many many scenes with you in them. So, let’s start in the present and work our way back through your past. What kind of work are you doing now, and do you enjoy it?

David: I’m a scientist. I work at a lab at MIT. I study a really small [plant/organism], and how it is being affected by global warming. I love it because I get to spend a lot of time outside. Then, when I'm inside I get to look at these plain, almost ugly specimen under the microscope and see just how gorgeous they are close up--the way the cell walls are so orderly, the gradation in color of what looks to the naked eye just a plain brown. And of course there’s the larger picture of helping to figure out how plants evolve or don’t evolve in the face of global warming. That’s pretty fascinating and important stuff.

Me: Did you always know you wanted to study ecology?

David: No, I bounced around from major to major when I was in college. Marine biology, computer science. I guess I always knew I wanted to do something science-related. Actually the guy I’m working for now—Professor Paul Starnly—really turned me on to this. I took a class with him undergrad where we went out to the pond on campus and collected specimen of various plants and fish life and studied them back in the lab. I found myself checking in on my experiments on Friday nights, before going out with friends at the local pub. He caught me there one night and said, “Hooked, are you?” And it was then I realized I was. I left UMass to study at MIT for my grad work, and lo and behold, Paul ended up here too, so when I got my Ph.D., he hired me.

Me: And your social life, what’s that like here?

David: I play in a band with a few friends. We’ve done a gig here or there, but we really just like getting together, having a few drinks and playing classic rock tunes. One of the guys, Tony, writes his own stuff, so we play that, too. Other than that, I hang out at Hugh’s pub a lot. I like the atmosphere, and I’ve made friends with a lot of the staff and some of the other regulars.

Me: Like Emily.

David: Yea.

Me: Full disclosure: She’s the main character in my book.

David: No kidding. Well, Emily’s awesome, so I can see why she would be. Plus, with all that’s going on with her trying to figure out what the fuck happened with her sister…

Me: Yea, exactly. I’m going to get pretty personal here. Hope you don’t mind… But you’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?

David: (Blushing) Well, of course I have. Why else would I lend her my car, offer to accompany her to her crazy mom’s house to talk dirty family laundry shit. I mean, maybe I’d lend my car to one of the guys in the band, but I doubt I’d volunteer to spend my Saturday refereeing between them and a batshit parent.

Me: So why haven’t you made a move yet?

David: (Thinking) Well, first of all, we’re friends. I really like her. I don’t want to go to kiss her, have her reject me, and never be able to hang out the same again. I really can’t tell how she feels. I think I’ve made it pretty obvious how I feel, but she hasn’t given me any hints. And she’s clearly under a lot of stress now. What's she's going through has allowed us to get closer--I didn't spend a lot of time alone with her before I found her alone on the balcony of her birthday party and she told me about her sister's death. But she's clearly got a lot on her mind, and I don't want to add to her stress. So I think I’ll just lay low, be a good friend to her until I get a good sense of what she wants from me.

Me: (Smiling)

David: Wait! You know something! What do you know! What does Emily feel towards me!?!

Me: (Still smiling. Shrugs) You know I can’t say. Where would all the suspense be if I told you now? You’ll just have to wait and see.

David: (Lighting a cigarette) Fine. What’s your next line of inquiry then?

Me: Let’s talk about your previous girlfriends.

David: Awesome. (Inhales and exhales) There’s really only one you would need to know about. Laura. We dated for a few years
during grad school. Two and a half, to be exact. I loved her. Wanted to marry her. Then she got pregnant. I was actually kind of excited about it, even though the timing was awful. We were both grad students—she studied English lit. We had no money, a tiny, drafty apartment just a few blocks from the ghetto in J.P. But I didn’t care about all that. I figured we’d make it work, even if I had to take a break from my program for a while and get a job to save some money. Looking back, I think I was excited about it because it would cement us as a family, it would make Laura have to stay with me—I didn’t consciously know it at the time, but she was already pulling away little by little. I must’ve sensed that, or I wouldn’t have been so fucking excited for this baby to glue us together. She wanted to have an abortion. She gave all the practical arguments, our careers, the timing, our bank account. I just kept saying we would make it work. I even gave ideas how it could work. But she wouldn’t listen to them. Finally she said, “It’s my body and I’ll do what I want. I made the appointment for next week.” I stood there with my jaw open. Of course it was her body. Of course she had the right to do what she wanted with it. But we were supposed to be a team. We were supposed to make these kinds of decisions together. We were a family, albeit an undocumented one. I think I said something like, “I thought we were in this together.” And she just cried and shook her head. The next day, she had a miscarriage. A few weeks later, she had moved out. All’s well that ends well, eh?

Me: Oh man. That’s a tough breakup.

David: (Lighting another cigarette) Yup. Before and after her, there were girlfriends who lasted a few weeks, a month or two. But nothing serious. I just didn’t find anyone I liked spending time with as much as I had Laura. Until…

Me: Emily.

David: Yea. I even like driving in the car with her—on long trips, she always falls asleep, but before she does, we have interesting talks about the news, or sing along to bands I didn’t think anyone else had heard of. And even when she’s asleep, she’s still good company. I don’t know how to explain it. It feels a bit like it does when I go home to my parents house and need to escape the chaos so I take their dog--a black lab-- out for a walk in the woods. She’s good company, even though she’s not saying a word. That’s how Emily is when she’s asleep. Silent, good company.

Me: I don’t know how well she’d take being compared to a Labrador.

David: Yea, don’t mention that to her…

Me: OK, one last line of questioning, which you provided the perfect segue to: your family.

David: (Taking a big breath in and out). Yea, they’re as crazy as the day is long. My parents got divorced when I was 15, and then they recently got remarried. I guess they forgot how miserable they made each other, and everyone around them. He hit her, for fuck’s sake. He hit me! Apparently he’s gotten control of himself. Got into some self help program. Forgive me if I don’t believe him. I’ve got cigarette burns on my thighs that prove just how in control of himself he is…. And even if he has changed, I don’t have to forgive him for making my childhood hell. Hell, for making most of my life hell. Anytime I’m near someone and they raise their arm—maybe to signal a bartender—I flinch, and my memory quickly spirals back to one of the many times my father’s large hand smacked me across the face, sending me falling onto my ass. Then my date or whoever I’m with sits there questioning me about why I got so quiet all of a sudden, and I curse the bastard for intruding on my night.

My mom? I guess she was just lonely. Not exactly easy for an overweight, chain smoking secretary to find a man out in the Berkeshires, I guess. Or who knows, maybe she really thinks he has changed. Maybe she has a real connection to the good times she swears they had together, though I don’t remember them. Maybe she has a much larger capacity for compassion than I do. Or maybe she’s just an idiot. I try to think it’s the compassion, but there are times when I can’t help but wonder if maybe she’s just stupid when it comes to men in general, my father in particular. But I’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt, so let’s go with the fact that she’s a much nicer person than I am.

Me: OK, on a lighter note: What’s your favorite color?

David: Green

Me: Drink?

David: Guiness

Me: Season?

David: Fall

Me: Author?

David: David Foster Wallace

Me: Sport?

David: Shrugs. I’m a fair weather fan. I’ll watch them all if they’re on and other people around are into them. But I don’t go crazy watching every game of any one team, until they’re in the finals.

Me: Place in the world?

David: Hands down, Arenal volcano, Costa Rica. Went there for a specimen gathering expedition with Paul one summer in college. Fell in love. The fog, the heat, the people, the coffee. These flowers called Touch Me Nots, which actually contract if you touch them, like a shy little kid shrinking behind his mom’s legs. So amazing.

Me: Thanks for your time, David. Good luck with you know who. (Smiling broadly)

David: That's the thanks I get? Being teased about what you know and I don't? Well, you're welcome I guess.

Back...hopefully for good!

2010-07-04T16:27:00.005-04:00

It’s been a long, long time. I apologize....But I'm back doing some creative work, so I thought I'd share.

I started futzing with some plants a lovely neighbor gave me when I admired her garden. I sewed a slip cover of sorts onto the straps of my favorite backpack after the material there started ripping and fraying. And, last but far, far from least, I started playing around with my novel again!

First, I organized the outline. I did this by making an index card for each chapter. On the index card, I wrote down the key plot points that occur, which characters are in the chapter, and where the scenes take place. If I noticed holes in the plot (and boy did I), I went to the Word document for that chapter and made notes like MUST MENTION DAVID’S RECENT TRIP TO COSTA RICA or TAKE OUT PART ABOUT HUGH.

This exercise also helped me create a list of the characters and settings that take place in the book. My next step is to get to know each of those people and places in depth so that when I go to revise, I know lots and lots about all of my key players. You'll see one of my tricks for learning about my characters in my next post.

JK Rowling On Failure

2010-05-17T15:34:00.004-04:00

I graduated from the Harvard Extension School the year JK Rowling gave this speech at Harvard's Commencement. I loved it then, and I love it now.

I hope these quotes from her speech give comfort to anyone going through a tough time (and, if you're not now, just save them for the next time one hits like a tornado)

*Some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all. In which case, you have failed by default.

*You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift.

*Given a time turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a checklist of acquisitions or achievements. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people...who confuse the two.

*Life is difficult and complicated and beyond anyone's total control and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

And for anyone looking for inspiration to get your butt in the chair, and your pen on the page:

*Imagination...is the power that enables us to empathize with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

"News that will edge your fiction-writing friends closer to suicidal despair"

2010-05-12T10:32:00.002-04:00

I love Salon.com for it's snarky, edgy coverage of everything from current events to books to the latest in bad T.V.

This article about Tyra Banks' new novel will make you laugh through the tears you shed about how hard you have to work to get anything published while famous people just make a call, it seems, and get a book deal.

The opening line had be laugh/crying:

In the latest "news that will edge your fiction-writing friends closer to suicidal despair," television host, model, producer and Fake Hair Academy headmistress Tyra Banks has announced that she is penning a series of fantasy novels for her own Random House imprint, Bankable Books. To paraphrase Ms. Banks herself: Stephenie Meyer, kiss her fat ass.

And I Quote

2010-05-06T14:30:00.002-04:00

I love this quote about writing a novel, from a Powell's Bookstore interview with Brady Udall:

When you read a book, and it's good and you love it and you're just amazed by it, it feels like everything was with intent. It seems like the writer had this amazing ability. I think people who aren't writers don't understand this, and writers don't really advertise this very much. But most of it's just bumbling around and making mistakes. You happen on something, and think, "Oh, this works. Okay." Then you throw something else out, and it's just this chaos that eventually you wrestle into order. Most of it's what I would call mistakes or errors of judgment that turn out well somehow. When I look back, even when I was close to finishing the book, I thought I could never make this work. But somehow I found a way.

Man, that gives me hope!

Birth Announcement

2010-05-03T18:44:00.003-04:00

The latest edition to the Junge Literary Family is here!

My baby, a short story named Cartes Postales, came into the world via the New Plains Review a few days ago, and arrived in my loving arms today. After months and months of nurturing her, I'm so proud to see her in print and introduce her to the world.

(You can't read my story online, but if you order a copy of the journal, I'll gladly autograph it for you! If you don't live near the Boston area, message me at writerbug2006 AT yahoo DOT com to coordinate.)

Calling all poems/stories/essays about death

2010-04-25T20:29:00.000-04:00

I might be teaching a course this fall on writing about death and grieving. I'm in the process of gathering up ideas for readings--ie published stories, poems, or essays that deal with the subject. Here's where I turn to you, dear readers: to pick your brains. Any idea are most welcome! (One caveat: they have to be relatively short, ie, it's not helpful for me to get a list of novels that focus on death or dying.)

Thanks in advance!

Loving, Coveting, Sharing

2010-04-25T12:15:00.000-04:00

Susan over at the Fiber Farm Blog has a great recurring series that features items and articles she thinks her readers will like. She calls it Probably Something You Would Like.

Well, I, too, come across cool things and want to share them with my readers. So...I'm stealing her idea and calling it: Loving, Coveting, Sharing (LCS)

Here's my first LCS post! Let me know what you think of my finds--and add things you love, covet, and want to share in the comment field.
1.
I so could have used this shoot-through camera bag when we were in Costa Rica. It's basically a camera carrying case with one end uncovered, so you can actually use the camera while it's snug in its carrying case. One day we rented an ATV and drove all over crazy dusty, very pot-holed roads. I took pictures as we went, but I would have felt much more secure if I could have had the camera protected AND been able to shoot the awesome scenery.

Me and the ATV

2.
I am in love with this all natural face cream, The Soy of Life. My sister-in-law, who's an esthetician, has commented when she does my facials how much less dry my skin is since I started using it. It's pricey, but worth it. And it's a small business run by a husband and wife team. I met them at a local fair where they were selling their products and they were nice as could be.

3.
For a long time I've wanted to grow my little menagerie of animals (currently two dogs, a cat, and two bunnies). At the moment, I need, in a deeeep way, to simplify my life, not add to it. But a girl can dream, no? If I ever have the time and energy to take care of more creatures, I'd buy these two books on beekeeping and raising chickens

4.
This time of the year, I'm usually getting package after package from Michigan Bulbs, a great gardening catalog whose products never fail to impress. But, see my note above about simplifying. So I'm limiting myself to growing veggies and a few flowers from seeds, and otherwise just tending the stuff I already have.

(I promise I'll post some garden pics this weekend--the tulips I planted last year are gorgeous!)

Welcome Writing Space readers

2010-04-14T16:46:00.002-04:00

I'm so honored that Kim Smith, over at Writing Space chose to highlight my blog this week. Welcome to all her readers! Pull up a chair, read some posts, and say hello in the comments, if you please. :)

Some good (scary!) news!

2010-04-14T16:18:00.004-04:00

An essay I wrote about struggling with my body image got accepted for an edition of Chicken Soup for the Soul, to be published later this year!

The essay was one of those pieces of writing that came out quickly. I thought about it in the airport and during my plane ride to see my writing buddies in Canada last summer, and then when I sat down to write it was like the words and paragraphs were already there. The two writers I was with read and critiqued it, and with some minor edits, I sent it out the door. Lo and Behold, it got picked up! If only all writing/publishing were that easy, huh?

But now that I know it's going to be Out There., I'm freaking out a little. I reread the essay and frankly, I don't remember being so candid! Of course, it's that honesty that makes an essay worth reading. But man, do I feel naked knowing that other people are going to know all the crazy things I've thought about my body over the years.

It's a good lesson--In journalism/marketing writing, you hear all the time, "Know your audience" and "Write for your audience." In creative writing, I think the opposite is true. Don't think of your audience at all. Write for yourself, write your truth.

Otherwise, if you're anything like me, you just might take out the most interesting bits because they don't put you in the best light (or, to stick with the body image theme, they make you look fat). But it's those private bits that make an essay (or poem or story...)good and make people able to relate to it.

Exposing those bits, of course, is a very scary thing. But, as Elanor Roosevelt advised, "Do one thing every day that scares you."

I'm back...take two

2010-04-11T21:40:00.002-04:00

I got back from vacation and then immediately took a sick leave from this blog, and lots of other stuff.

I'm feeling about 40% better these days, and I'm trying to find a balance between:
--Not doing too much as to start another stress/headache cycle
--Doing enough of the things I find fulfilling to not get depressed

Not an easy balance, let me tell you. Add an insanely stressful time at work into the mix and you have...well, let's just say I'm not having the best time of it. But I'm not having the worst, either. So, anyway. I'm hoping to be able to commit to blogging more regularly again.

***

I've been away from my novel for a few weeks now, and I miss it. I had to write something for my writers' group, which meets Thursday night. I'm not at all happy with the chapter I handed in--I'm kind of embarrassed really. It was really hard to get back into it after such a long absence--my writing muscles had certainly weakened. But at least the deadline got me going.

And I'm committing to try to write a scene a day for the foreseeable future. Just one scene. Just something. Just enough, hopefully, to get the wheels greased again.

***
I'm doing a lot of meditating these days and let me just say that that is brightest spot to come out of all this pain/stress sh*t. Meditating is such a truly wonderful practice, and yet one I find hard to fit into my life on a very regular basis. These days, it's part of my slowing down activities.

I can't read much on my commute because of the headaches/potential for headaches, so I'm listening to my iPod. Sometimes I put on music and just breath. Sometimes I listen to a guided meditation or a podcast of a talk given at the Insight Meditation Society or Vipassana Metta Foundation--both of which I highly recommend. They offer such insights into life, in a completely accessible, not-religiously-based form.

On the weekends I'm taking some time to read about a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program based out of UMass Amherst. I hope to be able to take a class based on the program in the near future. Reading about it and trying to do it on your own are one thing, having a group to do it with is something else...

Good night for now. Hope to see you again soon!

a break

2010-03-27T22:21:00.002-04:00

I was completely headache free while on vacation, and now the headaches have come back with a vengeance. I'm working to get them figured out, but in the meantime, I'm taking a break from a number of "extras" in my life, and this blog, sadly, is one of them. I'm hopeful that I'll be back in the ole blogosphere soon. Hold down the fort for me while I'm gone!

I'm back...and so is spring!

2010-03-21T16:35:00.002-04:00

I'm back from a (mostly) relaxing, (mostly) wonderful vacation. I swam in the Pacific and under a waterfall, surfed (!), hiked up an active volcano, saw monkeys and sloths, went bird watching, drove an ATV across the Nicoya Peninsula, and drank lots of delicious coffee. Pictures to follow.

While I was away, the clocks turned back, and winter released its grip on New England in an unusually gentle way. It is a very strange feeling to go away in the middle of a long, dark, cold winter and to come back to sunny day AND EVENINGS, crocuses sprouted, and lots of buds on the trees. In some ways, it's an amazing way to say goodbye to winter. In others, its completely discombobulating, like going to a movie when it's light out and re-entering the world when it's dark.

I got two new story ideas while I was away. That leaves me wondering what it is about traveling and being somewhere totally foreign that washes story ideas from the corners of my brain and brings them into the forefront. Do you feel that way, like travel is a good story generator?

In any case, I'm off to Starbucks now to get some of those ideas down on paper.

Hasta luego

2010-03-04T11:45:00.008-05:00

I'm heading to Costa Rica for some fun (and yoga and hiking) in the sun.

This is where I'll swim:

Where I'll nap:

Where I'll do yoga:

And whom I hope to run into:

Talk to y'all in a few weeks!

Seven fascinating (mostly writing-related) articles

2010-03-03T17:01:00.002-05:00

I'm going away for 10 days (whoo hoo!), so I thought I'd leave you lovely readers with some articles I suggest you peruse in my absence. If you read any of them, I'd love to hear what you think!

1. Losing your whole town
Imagine that you don't only have to walk away from the house you bought and paid for and lived in and loved. Everyone else around you has to do the same. And the general store, the library, the post office--they all have to pack up and leave, too. All because of an underground coal fire that could have been put out when it first started, almost FIFTY years ago.
That's exactly what's going on in a small town in PA.

There's already some n on-fiction books on the town's strife, which I plan to read. But I think there might be the seed of a fictional story in there, too. Imagine the family dramas that could be told amongst this heartbreaking, almost unbelievable backdrop.

2. Some Very Funny Dos and Donts of Writing
Thanks to Robyn for pointing me to this awesome and funny article by a debut novelist, Tony DuShane. My two favorite "dos and donts":

Don't: Get in this game if you don't absolutely love literature. Let me take that back, don't get in this game if literature hasn't saved your life somehow. Don't get into this game for the money. Don't get into this game while wondering if you should Tweet your novel online to show your digital forward thinking.

Do: Read and write. Read and write. And write. And write. It's like learning to play guitar and you play "Stairway to Heaven," and after you master that you play other songs.

3. An ode to the London Review of Book's personal ads.
This article is so quirky and funny--just my type! If I ever needed to place a personal ad, I'd totally do it in the London Review of Books. In the meantime, I'll check out the compilation books of the ads.

4. Seth Godin on creativity.
So many great gems in this article on creativity. Here's my favorite. This quote has really stuck with me in the weeks since I first read it:

For me, the single best thing you can do to become more creative is to be wrong more often. Creative people are wrong all the time (look at Apple's long string of failures). The goal is to create a safe place to be wrong, a way to be wrong without destroying yourself. The more wrong I am, the more often, the better I seem to get at being creative.

5. What makes a word sound good?
I found this NY Times article on the sound of words fascinating. I'm guessing the poets out there will particularly like it. Again, a favorite quote from it:
"Poetry, in fact, is two quite distinct things,” H. L. Mencken wrote in a 1920 magazine column. “It may be either or both. One is a series of words that are intrinsically musical, in clang-tint and rhythm, as the single word 'cellar-door' is musical. The other is a series of ideas, false in themselves, that offer a means of emotional and imaginative escape from the harsh realities of everyday.”

6. On Rejection.
I thought this Glimmer Train essay on rejection started a bit slow, but man was I glad I stuck with it when I got to the end:

The odds of winning the Nobel or becoming a perennial bestseller are astronomical. So why do we keep putting our heads on the chopping block when we can clearly see the worn dull blade dangling by a thread above? We don't do this in other facets of our lives, in which we are far more pragmatic and make decisions based on evidence. We don't put ourselves at risk when we know that odds are we are going to get hurt.

So why do we do it?

Because we are in love, and looking for those with whom we can share that love.

Which is why rejection, particularly in your love life, is good training for being a writer. Because your work, if it's true, is you—the culmination and symbol of your heart, your passion, your hopes and dreams. Your work is everything you want and need to make things right in the world—it's what sets you apart from the rest, what makes you believe that all the devotion, dedication, and the grueling brutal daily grind to produce actually means something.

7. The second book from the author of the Time Traveler's Wife!
Anyone who loved the Time Traveler's Wife will probably be interested in this interview with author Audrey Niffenegger about her new book.

Confession Tuesday: The week-before-vacation edition

2010-03-02T13:37:00.003-05:00

I leave on Saturday for Costa Rica! Picture a week of yoga on the beach, followed by a few days of hiking in the rain forest. Ahhhh.

In spirit of prepping for the trip, here are some vacation-themed confessions:

I confess that I planned to lose 8 pounds before the vacation, and only managed to lose 2.

I confess that this is probably going to bother me the first time I put on my bathing suit, though I wish it wouldn't.

I confess that I'm bracing myself for my husband's culture shock--in the past he hasn't been the best at adjusting quickly and easily to foreign countries, though after a day or two he's fine.

I confess that I know these are awesome "problems" to have.

I confess that before going away, I like the house to be clean and my to-do lists to be as completed as they can be. My mom used to clean the house before we went away, and I thought she was crazy. Now I understand the peace of mind it brings, both before you go and after you come back.

I confess it bothers me that my to-do lists never get completely done, though I'm sure I would be sad if I had nothing I wanted to get done.

Recent Reads: February Edition

2010-03-01T12:02:00.005-05:00

Like the month itself, this list of books read in February is a shorty. But quantity is definitely in inverse proportion to quality here--the four books I read/listened to this month were all good ones.

Three Bags Full by Leonnie Swann
Four-and-a-half stars
This sheep detective story, as it is called in the book's subtitle, is delightful and addictive. It's told from the point of view of a flock of sheep whose shepherd has been murdered. Swann does a great job of making each sheep a unique character, and of telling things from the sheeps' perspective. I didn't catch a single instance of her writing like a human instead of a sheep. And much like a book told from the point of view of a child, the sheep witness things that they don't understand, but that the reader does, making for an interesting, layered story.

The Perks of Being a Wall Flower by Stephen Chbosky
Three-and-a-half stars
This coming of age story reminded me and others in my book group of Catcher in the Rye--especially in that I got a lot more out of reading each book as an adult than I would have as a teen. The story is told through a series of letters that a troubled teen writes to an anonymous friend. It's a very quick read--I read most of it in one night (the night before my book club, of course!)--and one I would recommend.

The Reserve by Russell Bank*
Four-and-a-half stars
I am a big fan of Russell Bank, and this story was well done. The story is complex--it's told from multiple points of view, so it's about many characters and many stories--and a little hard to sum up. The themes include love, marriage, class, family, and what it means to be insane. What impressed me most was how deftly he switched points of view. My writers' group has been discussing the subject of how hard it is to write from an omniscient point of view, and this is a book I will turn to as a "how to" guide if I ever decide to go that route with a story or novel.

In the Time of Butterflies*
by Julia Alvarez
Four-and-a-half stars

This is one of those books that weaves fact and fiction to give readers a good sense of what it was like to live during a particular time in history. In this case, the story takes place during the Trujillo dictatorship in the Dominican Republica in 1960. It tells the story of four sisters--three of whom get involved in the revolution against Trujillo, and die because of their involvement. The fourth sister lives to tell their story. The book also deals with themes of women's roles in the revolution, marriage, family, and sisterhood.
*I listened to this as an audio book

Getting out of the slushpile...and into print!

2010-02-22T14:16:00.005-05:00

It took me a long, long time to get my first story published. I spent a semester during my MFA program writing and editing the first draft. Then I probably tweaked it for another month or two. Then I spent a year and a half sending it out to 21 different journals. It got rejected by 17 of them, and then was accepted by two different places right around the same time. (The remaining journals I wrote to and rescinded the submission.)

So when I came across this article in Writers' Digest on getting out of the slush pile, I thought I would write a post listing a few of the minor things I did in between the time I first sent the story out, and when it finally got picked up. I think these little tweaks made a world of difference.
(Note: I read about the WD article on the Practicing Writing Blog)

1- When I got the first five rejections or so, I sent the story to some writer friends who kindly gave me feedback. They all agreed that it was ready to be submitted--but two of them questioned one particular part of the story.
That sent a red flag to me that something wasn't working in that area. I revised it.

2- After rejection 10 or so, I printed out the story and read it over from start to finish--something I hadn't done in months at that point. I found a few typos (egads!) and reworked a few parts that seemed clunky.

3- Around that time, I reworked the red-flagged area from item #1 yet again.

4- Right before I sent out this last batch of submissions, I tweaked the opening in a way that I think made a big difference.

The opening line went from:
On her first day in Paris, Chloe buys six postcards.

To:
On her first day in Paris, Chloe writes a postcard to her dead husband.

The latter is much more engaging, no? It leaves you wondering, What happened to Chloe's husband? Is she crazy? The former might leave you wondering, Who cares?

The moral
* Work on your story until you really truly believe it is done.
* Have friends read it and comment on it (other writers are great for this, but I also have non-writer friends read my stuff and their comments are often just as helpful)
* If your story gets rejected a number of times, take a look at it with fresh eyes and see if there are parts where your interest flags, where the writing seems clunky, that could be cut, or that need clarification. Pay particular attention to the beginning, since that's what the editor will see first.
* Don't give up hope!

Some February crafts

2010-02-21T18:33:00.006-05:00

I got a lot of crafting done this month. Not sure if that's because the cold weather kept me inside, or if my headaches kept me away from books and my computer, or if I was just in a craft mood. In any case....
I didn't want to throw away the Christmas cards I was taking down at the end of January, so I decided to recycle them into Valentine's decorations. I cut them into hearts, and then sewed a thread through them so they would hang in a line and dangle. Hanging them in front of the windows by my front door meant that people outside and inside could enjoy them.

(Don't mind the bad photo--the way the house is set up doesn't allow for a good angle of the windows.)

I didn't just use Christmas cards--I also used images from magazines. I ended up with many more heart cutouts than I did window space, so I also made a mobile--something I had been wanting to make for a while now, ever since I noticed how soothing I found the slow movements of a modern art mobile that hung in my dentist's office (and what a good place to find something soothing, no?)

As you can see, I put images on one side and relavent or just amusing (to me, anyway) words from magazine articles (mostly a very iteresting New Yorker piece on how scent informs memory).

I had so much fun making it (which took a lot of trial and error in terms of finding the right materials to be sturdy enough to support the structure, but fluid enough to allow for movement)that I'm going to make another using birds instead of hearts--to hang to celebrate spring (whenever that comes around!).

Post-mobile, I had yet MORE hearts, so I hung them in the archway that separates my living room from the kitchen/dining area:

I'll also have some knitting photos to post soon... What crafty things have you been up to this month?

Confession Tuesday: The Simultaneous Submission Edition

2010-02-16T16:35:00.003-05:00

I confess: In the past, I have submitted pieces simultaneously to journals even if they didn't allow simultaneous submissions. I figured: With all the rejections I have gotten, what are the chances that one of my stories would be accepted by two journals at the same time?

I confess: THIS JUST HAPPENED! Luckily, the second journal that accepted it was one that allowed simultaneous submissions, so the weirdness of having to reject their acceptance was somewhat dampened. I also felt good about the fact that I did email that second journal as soon as I found out that the New Plains Review accepted my story. My guess is that the editor didn't have a chance to go through all the "general inbox" emails before emailing authors whose work he accepted.

I confess: I will never flout simultaneous submission rules again.

I confess: Once the anxiety I am feeling over having to reject the acceptance and probably piss off the editor of the second journal subsides, I will probably be all aglow for weeks at the idea that TWO journals wanted the story that SEVENTEEN rejected.

I confess: The idea of pissing someone off (in general, not in this case alone) causes me way more anxiety than it should.

I confess: Having my story accepted makes me feel like a "real" writer, whatever that means.

I confess: I wish I didn't need this kind of outside validation but, alas, I do.

How to Survive February in New England

2010-02-16T15:23:00.000-05:00

T.S. Eliot got a lot right, but he got one thing wrong: February is the cruelest month, at least here in New England, according to this Writerbug. Though it is so short, it feels so long. And so dark. And so cold. (Which reminds me of that lovely Shakespeare quote: "Though he is small, he is but fierce.")

I'm not the only one who feels this way about February.

My plan to conquer February is a little different than Soule Mama's, though. It does entail lots of knitting and being outside, but the main component is movies! I plan to see all of the Best Picture nominations this month.

And the nominees are:

Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

I've seen Avatar (eh), Inglourious Basterds (awesome), A Serious Man (very awesome), and Up (awesome). I plan to see another one or two movies this weekend, and I have The Hurt Locker out from Netflix.
That leaves me enough movies to get me through the last of this long short month.

Congratulations...to me!

2010-02-12T13:43:00.003-05:00

After most "victories," Brian very sweetly gets me one of these helium balloons. This week, I got one to celebrate my most exciting victory yet--one of my short stories, Cartes Postales, will be published in the Spring Issue of The New Plains Review!

It's been a little over a week since I've heard the news (I didn't want to share until I got in touch with the editors of the other journals that were considering the story), but I still get giddy when I talk (write) about it!

Maybe that's the benefit of having Cartes rejected 17 times--yes, I counted. Now this victory is all the more sweet for being so hard won.

Another twist: of the four journals from which I had to rescind my submission, three wrote back to say the story was being seriously considered for publication and I should send other work.
Of course I was very happy to hear this--and it makes me wonder if Cartes got close to publication at any of the 17 journals that rejected it. Man, that would have been nice to know! It would've taken the sting out of those rejections just a wee bit....

But anyway, I am so so so so happy about this. It's so gratifying to know that my instinct that told me this story was ready was correct, despite all those rejections. And it's a good reminder to all of you out there who might be on rejection #16....Keep sending your stuff out! After a series of rejections, you might want to look at the story again and tweak it as you see fit (I did that a few times). But most of all, keep sending it out. All it takes is one! And, of course, keep writing.

My very exciting plans for this Friday evening involve doing just that.

Some pictures, on this snowy Wednesday

2010-02-10T16:40:00.007-05:00

So far the snow in these parts (South of Boston) is way lighter than expected. But who knows what's to come....

Since I got out of work early in anticipation of the snow, I'm finally getting around to putting up some pictures I've been meaning to post.

Remember I mentioned I took myself on an artist's date and hit my favorite thrift store in Boston?

Here are just a few of my finds. I'll post more sporadically as the urge strikes.
I got all of these items at Boomerangs, probably all for under $10 total, though I don't remember exactly. I think they look quite lovely grouped on top of our piano.

I also bought this vase:

And then I needed to fill it, so I made some pom-pom flowers. Fun and easy!

I couldn't help myself from making more pom-pom flowers, and putting them on the branches that sit in this awesome vase I got when my Oma (German for grandmother) passed away. It's funny because the vase did not fit in with the rest of my Oma's house, and yet I had loved it from when I was a little girl. Now it doesn't really fit in with my decor either, but I still love it.

And I think the whole pom-pom flower look works with it, if I do say so myself!

Need some inspiration?

2010-02-05T16:24:00.003-05:00

I love quotes from writers on writing. I find them inspiring. So I was quite pleased when I came across this post from the No Credentials Necessary blog.

My favorite of her list of quotes:
The best advice on writing I’ve ever received: Finish.” – Peter Mayle

So simple, yet so difficult!

Recent Reads: January Edition

2010-02-05T11:00:00.000-05:00

I'm starting a new feature on this ole blog, a list of books I've read in the last month (and commentary on what I thought of them).

I hope this feature serves multiple purposes:
1- Selfishly, I'd like a place to keep track of my reading.
2- I love learning about books and articles from people I trust, so I hope to provide my readers with this service.

Next month, I hope to add a list of any particularly good articles I read, along with commentary on what I thought of those, too.

Here goes!

Books read last month
Reviewed on a scale of 1-5 stars, listed from worst to best. (Saving the best for last and all that.)

Santa Fe Dead by Stewart Woods
1.5 stars
Bought this as an airplane read....The plot was good enough that I finished the book, but I won't be recommending this author anytime soon. The writing was pretty bad.

No Good Deeds by Laura Lipman*
3.5 stars
This murder mystery set in Baltimore kept my interest and, when I was away from the book, I kept thinking about the characters and the plot--always a good sign. In terms of craft, I would like to go back to this book (and others by Lipman) to look at how well she creates a sense of place. I don't know much about Baltimore, but she described the city in a way that was not confusing for an outsider and, it seemed to me, wouldn't be boring or redundant for someone who knew it well.

*Note: I listened to an audio version of this book

Loving Frank by Nancy Horan
4 stars
I got interested in this book, which fictionalizes a long-term affair that Frank Lloyd Wright had with one of his clients, after visiting the architect's house in Scottsdale, AZ, in December.

The book is told from the perspective of the woman, Mamah. It was well done--until the end. I won't spoil it for people who want to read the book, but I was totally shocked in the end. I like books that surprise me, but whose endings, when I look back on the book as a whole, seem as inevitable as they were surprising. This was just surprising.

That said, I would still recommend the book for its lovely architecture and art descriptions, and the information about the women's movement in the early 1900s, as well as the illumination of the topic of making hard choices in life (Mamah left her own family, including two young children, to take up with Wright because she felt it was what she needed to do, as a person.)

Delicate Edible Birds and Other Stories by Lauren Groff*
5 stars
I loved these stories. They embody everything I hope to have in my own work--characters who are alive, interesting plots, and subtle but completely comprehensible endings. In fact, I liked the book (which I got from the library) so much that I ordered myself a copy, so I can reread it, study it, and underline to my heart's content. Hopefully I'll figure out just how Ms. Groff works her magic.

*Note: I listened to an audio version of this book

Confession Tuesday

2010-02-02T15:11:00.002-05:00

January over at PoetMom started Confession Tuesday a while back. I follow her and others' confessions, but I've never confessed myself. Here goes!

I confess that when I thought about writing this post, all I could think of was my Catholic upbringing: It's been about 15 years since my last (priest-witnessed) confession.

I confess that now I'm wondering what it is I confessed in that confession, which is probably to be my last in a Catholic Church.

I confess that I've started to attend the Unitarian Church near my house and I love it. Aside from the welcoming nature of the congregation, and the social justice component of Unitarianism, what I most love is the weekly tradition they call "Sharing of Joys and Sorrows." People get up and share something they are happy about, or concerned about, and then light a candle. At the end, the leader of the service lights a candle for "all the joys and sorrows unspoken, but that are in our hearts."

I confess that I've never shared a joy or sorrow for fear that I would cry while I was up there.

I confess I cry a lot. Movies, TV shows, books, life in general...all fodder for tears for me.

I confess that ever since attending PoetMom's and Erin Dionne's book parties recently, I have been daydreaming about my own book party, which I hope to have occasion to throw one day in the relatively near future. More on that in another post.

I confess I am writing this post during work hours and must get back to my job!

Thrifting

2010-01-29T16:15:00.002-05:00

I'm having a bit of Me Time tomorrow (or an Artists' Date, if you are a Julia Cameron Follower). One of my stops will be one of my favorite Boston thrift stores, which I used to go to at least once a week, and which I miss dearly now that I live outside of the city. (Boomerangs in Jamaica Plain, for those of you locals who are wondering.)

I'm going to be on the lookout for some candlesticks for this cool project, a DIY Ribbon Organizer made out of old candlesticks.

And I want to look for some sweaters that I can felt for a tote bag I want to make.

Any other suggestions for cool projects/materials I should be on the lookout for?

Slow down....whether you like it or not!

2010-01-27T12:44:00.003-05:00

I've been trying to be all philosophical about the crazy migraines I've been getting just about everyday. (Quick aside, I'm seeing lots of doctors and alternative practitioners, so no need to worry about my not getting the care I need.) I've been trying to think of them the way I think of Rufus, my insanely cute though very annoying puppy--that they will teach me patience, and to slow down.

But the thing is, I don't want to slow down. And slowing down because you're in pain and lack energy is not enjoyable in the way that slowing down because you want to take some time off to just veg is. I get frustrated when I look at the sweater I want to get back to knitting. Or when I look at the cut outs that line my dining room table just waiting to be put onto the mobile I am creating. Or when I think about the many blog posts I've half-written in my head. And don't get me started about my poor, abandoned journal. Or the stack of books collecting dust on my nightstand. Thinking about them makes me want to cry.

I know, I know. I need to rest as much as I need to. All these projects will be there, waiting for me when I get better. That's what I would tell a friend if she were in my shoes. But I didn't appreciate before this experience how frustrating it is not to be able to do what you want to do, when you want to do it. And none of the advice I would give my friend/my self acknowledges that fact.

So, that's where I am, moving at a frustratingly slow pace and hating every minute of it. So as not to end on a complete downer, here's a pic of that insanely cute dog who is teaching me to be patient, and who is a much kinder teacher than head pain. (He's the gray one, Chloe is the black lab)

Random ramblings

2010-01-21T13:38:00.014-05:00

I just read an interesting, random list on the Juniper Moon Farm blog featuring 5 things readers didn't know about Susan the Shepherdess. It inspired me to make my own random list. And away we go...

Five things you probably don't know about me

1. I love bargain shopping--I can't remember the last time I paid full price for a piece of clothing. My first love is thrift stores (where the thrill of the find is heightened--they're like little treasure hunts!), but I also hit up the sales rack.

2. That said, I don't scrimp on shoes. I tend to have a few, sturdy pairs of shoes that I wear and wear and wear, so I want those to be well made and comfortable. I've found that often means expensive. But since they last me years and years, I'm OK with that. (And I have a few cute, cheap shoes to mix things up a bit.)

3. While we're on the subject of money, I've never had credit card debt (knock on wood--I've been blessed with jobs that offer health insurance; I know many people have to go into debt if they don't have insurance). My dad instilled in me the importance of only buying what you can afford, and that lesson stuck.

4. And speaking of health... I'm much more comfortable with alternative medicines like acupuncture than I am with popping pills (not exactly the easiest attitude to live by now that daily migraine headaches have been striking for the last few weeks. Pain meds are now my friend).

5. In the last two to three years, I've really come to enjoy winter. I can account for this shift in attitude with five things:

a-This Landsend coat, which really could keep you warm on a tundra.
Here's a shot of me in my coat, and my good friend Kathy in a similar one:

b- These boots (Sorel Snow Bird Zip)

Warm feet are the key to feeling warm, and these things are so well made, you can stand with your feet in a snowdrift for hours (it seems, I haven't actually tried it for that long!) without feeling a thing. (My one complaint is that the zipper slides down a lot, but I still love the boots.)

c- Living in a house I love with two fire places. I spend a lot of time indoors in the winter, and loving my home has made that time a retreat, instead of a burden.

d- Instead of thinking of winter as one, icy, five-month block, I notice the variations in temperature and light from day to day. Yes, winter lasts a long time here, but there are plenty of pleasantly chilly days (like today--about 40 and sunny) mixed in with the bitterly cold ones.

e- I get outside for a walk at least once a week. Despite loving to sit by the fire and read/write/knit, I also need some outside time. And thanks to items a and b on this list, I can get out there without being too miserable.

Come join me at the Boston Center for Adult Ed!

2010-01-20T06:05:00.002-05:00

I'm teaching this class this weekend at the BCAE, and really looking forward to it! Please pass this info on to anyone you know in the area who might be interested.

Writer's Weekend Workshop

Have you always wanted to write, but have a hard time getting started? Or have you been writing but currently feel stuck? Or do you just want to spend a Saturday writing with others? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, this class is for you. We will begin with writing exercises to get inspired and to learn about different aspects of the craft of writing, such as characterization, setting scenes, and plot. As a group, we will discuss the writing that comes out of the exercises. If students want, they can bring copies of a two or three page writing excerpt that they want workshopped. This class will mostly address fiction writers, but essayists, memoirists, and creative non-fiction writers are welcome to attend.

Saturday, 12:00 PM - 2:00 PM;
2 sessions starting January 23, 2010, ending January 30, 2010
Tuition: $50.00 ($40.00 for BCAE members)

On a happier note....

2010-01-14T22:27:00.005-05:00

I'm not sure why, but I've been daydreaming about planning a birthday party. My birthday is in late June, mind you. And I don't normally even have a party.
But after my last depressing post, I thought I'd post my birthday party wishes. Much nicer than my end of life wishes, no?

I want this cake, as I am an avid (obsessive?) scrabble player:

I would like this shirt as a present, to represent one of my other obsesssions, knitting:

I might ask my guests to come dressed as a favorite literary character, as Kelli of Book of Kells did.

And I would wear a tiara and feather boa All Day Long.

[Edited to add] I forgot about music!! There would be tons of music ala the brother of a friend of mine who is a DJ, and LOTS of dancing. Our living room is rather large and would make an awesome dance space. Those looking for a more mellow time would be hanging outside, under the luminary-lit backyard.

Want to come?

Death and writing

2010-01-14T15:55:00.003-05:00

I've been quiet this week (blog-wise and in general). Feeling a little overwhelmed by emotion, between the terrible sadness in Haiti, and, on a more personal level, the sadness in my husband's family as they grieve for the death of his beloved grandfather and worry about the health of some other family members.

But, I can link the depressing topic of death with writing! PoetMom posted an interesting question recently regarding what, if any, provisions her readers-who-are-writers have taken to ensure their wishes are followed regarding the publication (or not) of journals or works in progress.

Making a will is on my list of things to get done this year, and I will make a provision for my writing journals and files. Assuming Brian out lives me, I'll leave decisions about what to do with everything up to him, and ask that he consult my writing friends about anything he has questions about. I would hope that he would work to publish the things that I was working to publish at the time of my death.

If we die together or he dies first, then I will have one of my MFA friends be put in charge of making those decisions. (I need to ask her first, obviously!)

The only real question in my mind is what to do with those books and books filled with morning pages. In some ways, they are utterly private and certainly are not written with the intention of ever being read. On the other hand, if I'm dead, I'm not sure my privacy is really relevant, and maybe my survivors would find comfort in reading my day to day musings. On the other other hand, I would hate for something I wrote in a private journal to be misinterpreted or cause pain to a loved one.

What are your thoughts on what you'd want done with your writing (computer files, journals, etc.) posthumously?

A short one

2010-01-08T18:16:00.002-05:00

This will be a short post because I have a killer headache. I've been plagued with these damn things for about a month now (and off and on throughout my life, but never like this!).

But I wanted to point readers over to the blog of the beautiful and talented Erin Dionne. Her second YA novel was just published (whoo-HOO!!), and to celebrate, her editor at Dial books gave a two-part interview on Erin's blog. It's very informative for writers of all genres. Click here for part one, and here for part two.

And a big congrats to Erin!

Check back soon for posts on:
* How I untangled a knotty problem in my novel
* One of my goals for 2010: Allowing myself to feel like a legitimate writer.
* Some artsy movies that I've recently watched and recommend.

Christmas in the Dessert

2010-01-03T21:57:00.009-05:00

One of the things I love about traveling is that I take the time to take photos. I've always loved photography, but the hobby has fallen by the wayside a bit as I am trying to devote my creative energies to writing. But vacations are a good excuse to get back to this craft. Here are some of my favorite images from the trip.

We spent most of our time in Scottsdale, where my brother lives.

Then we took a short jaunt up to the red, red mountains of Sedona, one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.

In Scottsdale, two of my favorite attractions we visited were the Scottsdale Botanical Gardens and Frank Lloyd Wright's house, Talesin West. The Gardens had a luminary celebration going on, so we got to tour through the various cacti displays lit by 7,000 candles. And around every corner, there was a different kind of band playing. Our walk was serendaded by carolers, bell ringers, mariachis, salsa, jazz singers, and many more.

The tour of Wright's house was really neat. The guide talked all about his processes in creating architecture, and the principles he worked by. He sounded like quite the character--his ego probably couldn't fit into any of his houses, according to the asides of the guide. It's prompted me to read two historical novels based on Frank's life, Loving Frank and The Women. I'll let you know what I think when I'm done.

New Year

2010-01-01T09:29:00.003-05:00

I woke up this morning with a feeling of beginning anew, in a way that I don't normally experience on January 1. Maybe it's the fact that this is not only the start of a new year, but a new decade. Or maybe it was the fresh coating of snow that covered the world outside my window. Whatever the reason, I am relishing it.

I plan to spend the day writing, casting on this sweater(link only available to ravelry.com members), which I'm making for myself (!), catching up on the emails I got behind on while away in Arizona for Christmas (pics to come), and maybe watching a movie (or napping while a movie plays in the background....).

Oh, and I promised myself I'd start doing this exercise DVD I bought myself for Christmas--Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I'm not resolving to lose weight or get in better shape this new year. I will not be one of those people who makes a weight loss resolution come January 1. But call it what you will, that workout is on my list of January 1 things to do.

Have a great New Year's Day, all!

An ode to Poet Mom

2009-12-21T13:49:00.005-05:00

I had the pleasure and honor of attending the book party for Underlife, the first book by Poet Mom (aka January Gill O'Neill). I am finding it hard to describe how wonderful it was. In fact I'm getting teary even trying to. It felt like a dream, and it wasn't even my book party! I can only imagine how much January was/is floating after wards.

The first part of the event--the reading--was held in Jan's hometown library, a historic building that set the scene beautifully.

I got lost getting there, and arrived just in time to hear Erin give a polished and proud introduction of her friend. It was a bitterly cold evening, and I brought a rush of cold air in with me as I quickly found a seat among the 40 or so people gathered. My eyes were wet from the biting wind, but they overflowed with happy tears when Jan took the microphone and did a wonderful job of thanking the friends and family who supported her, and then reading several brave, funny poems.

Jan looked GORGEOUS and read beautifully and confidently (click here for a short video of her reading). Everyone hung on her every word, and she got a standing ovation when she finished. AND, the bookstore selling copies of her book sold out almost immediately after the reading, and had to dip into Jan's own stash to fulfill the customers.

After the reading, I chatted with a number of the interesting people at the party. I was nervous going in since I really only knew the star of the show and the emcee (Erin), who I knew would be busy. But everyone was warm and welcoming, and just as quickly as my cold toes defrosted in the warm air of the library, my nerves melted. And best of all, since the audience was filled with many of Jan's writer friends, I got to talk writing! One of my all time favorite subjects. :)

Since I know January in real life, I know how much work she puts into her art, and that knowledge made being part of the fruition of that work all the more sweet. She signed my copy of Underlife, and pointed out that I even got a shout out in the acknowledgments, since I had read and commented on the manuscript.

One of my favorite touches from the party was that she had a copy of Underlife for all of us to sign, a guest book for her to remember all of us who were there for what must be one of the highlights of her life--the party really was one of the highlights of mine!

Dear Friends: The low-lights of the year

2009-12-21T12:51:00.002-05:00

As promised, here is my sarcastic, always-look-on-the-dull side anti-Christmas letter.

I'm finding this letter hard to write, not because I had a perfect year filled only with happy, pride-inducing moments, but because it's part of my flawed psychological make up to bury the less-than-happy memories in hopes that I can pretend they never happened. Hence the years and years of therapy.

From said therapy, I can tell you this flaw is all my parents' fault. In fact, one of the low-lights of the year came in the days after Thanksgiving, when my family stayed with us. In true Bug-family style, no one talked about anything that was bothering them until my parents decided to leave early, giving no reason why (and of course I didn't ask for one, not only because that would truly go against our nature, but also because I didn't want to make them thing I didn't want them to go).

So now B and I are very much looking forward to spending Christmas with them! B is especially excited about the fights being with them will bring up between the two of us, because you know it's awesome to have to pretend you're totally happy with one another because your in-laws are watching your every move.

Speaking of in-laws, B's family has had a spate of bad luck this year: two elderly grandparents are hospitalized and don't seem to be getting any better, a middle-aged uncle got diagnosed with cancer and died about 2 weeks later, and my step-father also just received a cancer diagnosis. The guilt we felt about not spending Christmas with B's family? Now quadrupled.

On my own health front, I spent all of November and part of October battling a bug that made me exhausted and achy. Then, just as that cleared, I got a bout of chronic headaches that strike everyday between 1 and 2 p.m. They're so precise I don't even need a watch! Talking with my doctor to figure out if they're migraine or tension headaches, but either way, headaches are one of those poorly understood conditions that call for lots of trial and error. So I see lots of doctor's appointments in my future. It'll be a good excuse to get to know my doctor better.

B has also had a list of illnesses (chronic and acute) that I won't go into here lest I breach his privacy. But let's just say it's a long and varied list, much longer say, than the list of things I want for Christmas. Fun!

Now that health and the families are covered, we can move on to the low-lights of my writing life. They mostly consist of the pile of rejection letters housed in my desk drawer--a new one just added to the pile days ago! What a nice surprise to see a SASE in my handwriting amidst the cheery green and red envelopes in my mailbox. I couldn't wait to open it to find out who had rejected me now. (An anthology of stories about baseball, if you must know.)

We also added an insanely difficult-to-train dog to our little family. Nothing like a dog that constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY, needs attention/reassurance to annoy the crap out of you. And speaking of crap--he's also been difficult to potty train! And our other dog has developed the wonderful ability to grab food off of the counter no matter how far back you place it/what kind of security system you set up. Say bye-bye to lots of "cooling" Christmas cookies...

I think that covers most of 2009. Looking forward to learning what will ail me, my family, and the world in the New Year.

Dear Friends

2009-12-19T21:11:00.003-05:00

I know the Christmas Letter is the butt of many, many jokes. But truth be told, I like getting these letters tucked into holiday cards, especially when they're from friends and family I don't talk to all that often.

The letters provide a little peak into their world, kind of like Facebook status updates do. Of course, the letter (and Facebook) generally just highlights, well, the highlights of the year. Rarely do you hear about the minor and major heartbreaks that hit us all day to day. And rarely does a Facebook status update--or a week of status updates--really capture the gritty part of a person's life.

I understand why this is--people are much more comfortable sharing happy news with a large number of people who they don't talk to in their every day lives. Sharing miseries and misfortunes is much more intimate, and therefore shared for those friends and loved ones who are in our day-to-day lives, not those who are in our virtual world or on our Christmas card lists.

But something gets lost, too, when we share only the sweet things in life. We don't allow ourselves to be truly known, and we also perpetuate the myth that bad things don't happen to everyone. Then when we ourselves are going through a hard time, we look at all the "happy" people around us and feel that much more alone.

So wouldn't it be fun if we shared an anti-Christmas letter, featuring only the low-lights of the year? Me thinks it would. I'll post mine in the next day or so. If you're so inclined, please do the same.

A little bit of Hope

2009-12-13T14:08:00.002-05:00

I subscribe to a wonderful e-newsletter for writers called Funds for Writers. The editor, Hope Clark, sends a weekly email with a list of publications calling for submissions, grants for writers, etc. Each newsletter opens with a letter written by Hope, and the most recent one really hit home, so I wanted to share it with you. Here are some excerpts from it:

I counsel writers who fear rejection. Some fear they waste
time writing when the piece might not be accepted. There are
two frictions going on here.

1. The fear of complete strangers.
2. The naivete that only published writing is worth the effort.

...

You determine your outlook, not the naysayers. In reality,
as you dwell on why someone rejected you, your competition
is querying, pitching and advancing their careers. Stewing
in your juices is self-deprecating.

Unfortunately, many folks get stuck in a personal-put-down
rut. It's more comfortable than the risk of putting themselves
out there for scrutiny again. They fuss about editors, agents
and publishers, when they'd be more successful if they sucked
it up and worked harder instead.

Move forward in your writing career. Write. Query. Take the
rejections on the chin and don't go down. Move past it. Don't
look back.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-11T15:17:00.005-05:00

I think I've posted before about this 6 Word Memoir Project. Currently they have a 6 Word New Year's Resolution Project. I just posted a few on the site:

More: writing, kissing, dog walking, connecting

Will do more "wants," fewer "shoulds"

Remember: Where you are is OK

Listen to inner voice when deciding

What are your resolutions-in-6-words?

Amazingly, I think those few words about sum up my goals for the year, at least at the meta level. More specifically, I hope to:

Finish a draft of the novel by March, spend the spring revising, and then have writer-friends review it over the summer.

Publish a #*^&$% story already. (A few are out in the world, hopefully finding wonderful, loving homes as we speak.)

Really think about whether I want to say yes to something before doing so. I've found that I get really resentful when I say yes to things I don't really want to do, which isn't fair to myself or the person doing the inviting. After all, it's not her fault I overbooked myself instead of possibly disappointing her.

Put the time and effort necessary into my marriage to keep it strong. It is the most important relationship in my life, but nurturing it can fall by the wayside if I'm not careful, which is so silly because nurturing it is actually quite enjoyable!

Walk the dogs in the woods/dog park once a week, no matter the weather. I love getting out there with them, and so do they. Just have to make it a priority.

Continue my routines regarding: morning pages, meditation, exercising, and writing.

That's about it from me. I'd love to hear your resolutions, too!

Boston Book Festival

2009-12-11T11:00:00.003-05:00

I attended a few of the events at the first annual Boston Book Festival, and really enjoyed them. The best part was seeing the hundreds of people who schlepped out on a very wet weekend to celebrate literature. For those of you who missed the event, the organizers just posted videos from some of the sessions on their web site. Enjoy!

Notebook: completed!

2009-12-08T10:03:00.002-05:00

Remember the journal I made ? I used it all up! Every page is filled with either morning pages or chapters of my novel. It's a nice reminder of how much I've been writing lately, and how I finally seem to have found a system that works. I feel like I'm getting a lot of work done, I'm not stressing about it, and it seems to be an organic part of my life as opposed to something I'm constantly worrying about smushing in.

Here's my current system, FYI. If you don't have a routine that's working for you, I hope this inspires you. If you do have a routine that is working for you, please share it in the comments:

* I write morning pages (three, sometimes two, pages of journaling/brain-dumping) on the train ride into work in the morning.

* Two nights a week I either come home or go to a coffee shop and write my novel, longhand in my notebook, for about an hour.

* One of the weekend days, I also devote an hour or two to the novel.

* In these three focused times, I usually get a rough draft of one chapter done. Once it's done, I'll spend another hour or two typing it up, editing as I go.

Assuming I can stick with this routine, I should be able to have a draft done by March--just in time to celebrate during my 10-day trip to Costa Rica!

Artist's Date

2009-12-05T13:44:00.002-05:00

I am a big fan of Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way. Even though the book is a little too hippy-dippy spiritual for my personal taste at times, I think it offers amazing insights into artists' minds and hearts, and the many things that derail us from getting our work done.

One of the concepts Cameron suggests for remaining creatively productive is a once a week artist date, where you go somewhere by yourself with the sole purpose of getting in touch with your creativity/giving your creative brain a chance to come out and play.

I'm not all that great about making time for these dates, but I came across information about an interesting-sounding multimedia exhibit at a gallery in East Boston. Even though this is a crazy time of year, I am committing myself to taking a few hours of vacation time, leaving work early one day, and heading down to the gallery and then out for a nice dinner all by my lonesone.

Books, books, books

2009-12-04T15:40:00.003-05:00

I recently read an amazing review of Alice Munro's latest collection. As I've mentioned here before, I heart Alice Munro. But I want to share this review because it itself is a work of art--it basically serves as a short guide as to how to read, think about, and write stories.

I also loved this review on Salon.com of a book about Christmas, called Tinsel: A search for America's Christmas present. The last lines of the review are so poetic:
Without belaboring any of his points, Stuever gently unveils a place where, in celebrating their most iconic holiday, people long for a past that never existed, beguile each other with bogus sentimental yarns, scare themselves with the imaginary menaces lurking "outside" their sanctuary and try to retreat further into a safety that actually bores them stiff. That's Christmas, American style: a gingerbread house too small and sweet to move into, but we keep trying all the same.

Lastly, I was excited to see the New York Times top ten books of 2009 list. I plan to use the list as a reading guide for my first books of 2010.

Have you read any great books or book reviews recently? Suggestions welcome!

Writing about NaNo

2009-11-30T14:46:00.003-05:00

Check it out! I published a column in the Easton Journal on my NaNoWriMo experience--namely about how trying to write a novel in a month can be about community-building as much as it is about novel-building.

Thanks-giving

2009-11-25T09:30:00.005-05:00

Thanksgiving is about two things: Food and being grateful. (Football probably makes the list for lots of people, but not this non-sports fan!) So I thought I'd make this Thanksgiving-eve post about both.

First, the food. I've been doing a lot of cooking lately, and I thought I'd share some of my new favorite vegetarian recipes:

These spicy sweet potato patties are a delicious side dish, or, if you eat enough of them (and you'll want to!), they're a filling meal.

Here's an easy-peasy brocolli dish that's a little more intersting than the typical brocolli fare.

My mom's Italian, and so I was raised to love love love Italian food. Since my husband doesn't eat cheese, I rarely make the dairy-heavy dishes, but I made these cheese-stuffed eggplant roll-ups recently, and boy was I glad I did. Yum, yum, yum.

And lastly, here's my favorite Thankgiving recipe of all time--acorn squash stuffed with wild rice, cranberries, and hazelnuts. Even the turkey eaters who bless my table on Thanksgiving save a big spot on their plate for one of these babies. I've altered the recipe here and there since I've been making it for 5+ years now, but it's delicious as is, too.

****

Now onto the giving of thanks. Like most people I know, I've got a ton to be thankful for. Even as we all deal with life's little and big challenges (in my case, a nasty cold/flu virus that has been attacking my poor immune system for the last 4 weeks now!), there are so many things we take for granted, like clean water and warm homes and the internet (really! Think about how the internet has changed your life!).

But I'd like to list the things that are more personally meaningful to me this year:

*Finding--no MAKING--the time to nurture my budding novel and various other creative pursuits.

*The friends who encourage the above.

*The husband, who seems to truly get just how important writing is to me (even though he won't "let" me quit my job and write full time.)

*This blog's readers! It's been so much fun to "meet" new people and reconnect with old friends via this blog.

I could go on and on, but those are the blessings on my mind at the moment. How about you, what are your top 4 things to be thankful for this year?

Here are some pics from last Thanksgiving, enjoy!

My sister-in-law with my chicken chalkboard

My dad being silly while my mom smiles beautifully for the camera.

My mom and I getting down to work.

A Mayflower replica Brian made

The place cards I made

(I'm having some trouble alighning the captions with the photos...hope it's obvious which should go with which!)

Happy Thanksgiving all!

New blog element

2009-11-20T21:51:00.003-05:00

Check out the left hand column for my list of "desert island books," aka books I could read over and over and over again. I'm sure there are some I've forgotten, and hopefully I'll come across many more in my reading path...I was happily surprised to see how many short story collections are on there. I tend to plow through novels, but savor short stories, so maybe that's why. I'm still contemplating a book of poetry that should go on there. Will fill you in when I decide...

How about you, what are your desert island books?

Wednesday Wild Card

2009-11-18T14:31:00.005-05:00

A few random writing-related things on my mind today:

A teacher at Lesley University (the amazing place where I did my MFA) has come out with a new book I want to read, Yarn: Remembering the Way Home. I didn't work with Kyoko Mori much, but she seemed like a lovely, thoughtful person, so I'm guessing her writing will be, too. Also, Kyoko is giving a reading tomorrow night near Boston. I can't go, unfortunately, but thought I would spread the word...

The lovely and talented Erin Dionne is giving away swag with a phrase from Shakespeare's plays to promote Erin's YA book: Total Tragedy of a Girl Named Hamlet. One of the pieces of merch is a mug with this quote from Mid Summer Night's Dream: And though she be but little, she is fierce. As a petite, 5'2" woman, that quote sang to me. My next random purchase will be a t-shirt with that quote on it.

Speaking of lovely and talented writers I know, Ms. January Gill's first collection of poetry is about to come out! I can't wait to attend her book party and celebrate this awesome accomplishment. Now go buy her book. :)

And lastly, there's an interesting talk going on at Harvard Book Store on Dec. 2 that I plan on going to. Author Steve Almond will discuss his new book, This Won't Take But a Minute, Honey. The interesting thing about this book is that he self-published it, using an on-demand printer located in Harvard Book Store. I'm curious as to why an established author would go the self publishing route.

Things I've said no to

2009-11-16T15:30:00.005-05:00

* Going on a Halloween bike ride (which sounded really, really awesome)

* Joining the Lion's Club

* Going to my mother-in-law's for dessert on Thanksgiving

* Tutoring an extra evening with the ESL volunteer work I do

* Extending my family Christmas trip to Arizona so that it would take up all of my holiday time off

Which isn't to say that I didn't want to say yes to all of these things (OK, I didn't want to say yes to the Lions Club--being on one town committee, the cultural council, is more than enough). But I am learning my limits. Learning to listen to my instincts about how much I can actually do. Learning to honor the part of me that needs down time, and needs writing time. Learning that if I don't fiercely protect that time, it will get taken up and taken over faster than you can say "Sure I'd love to."

Glee!

2009-11-13T21:22:00.003-05:00

I was home sick AGAIN today, but instead of complaining about my coughing and sneezing, I instead will tell you about my new favorite show, which I discovered during my hours of convalescence: Glee! It's about a high school glee club, and the humor is ironic, the characters are well defined, and the musical numbers are uplifting.

It's just about the only thing in the world that has made me nostalgic for high school. It even made me ask myself the question that sometimes bounces around in my head, Do I want to teach high school? Obviously it'd be a major career change, but it's something I think about from time to time, and this delightful show brought up those thoughts once again.

You can watch most of the episodes on through Fox's website (link above). Check it out. Let me know what you think.

NaNo, MeMo, and Cold-Mo

2009-11-12T14:30:00.004-05:00

A brief check in to let you all know that I'm still alive, still writing and still meditating, and STILL SICK (ugh, more on that below).

NaNo looks very different for me this year than it did last year--instead of writing like a madwoman every day on my laptop to get my word counts up, I'm taking a more sane approach of writing in my notebook three or more times a week. Then when I finish a chapter, I take some time to type it up, doing a small editing job along the way.

I've finished both steps of chapter 2 thus far. I finished chapter 3 on paper, but need to get it typed up still. I will be starting chapter 4 by hand tonight, at one of our twice-weekly meetings at Easton's Ames Free Public Library cottage. I must remember to take pictures soon. It's a lovely space, and being there really does get me in the mood to write.

So, about this damn cold/cough. It. Will Not. Go. Away. It's like one of those burrs that gets stuck to your clothing when you're walking outside. When you notice it, you pull it off and think it's gone, but then for weeks afterwards you find little spikes embedded in your jacket fibers.

I thought this cold was a goner after I spent a ton of time resting and relaxing this weekend. I was still coughing on Monday and Tuesday, but my energy was back and I felt mostly normal. Then yesterday, I wake up with a headache, and promptly go back to sleep. I slept for hours and still felt exhausted. Today, I dragged my achy butt out of bed and to work, but I am not happy about it. Contemplating staying home tomorrow, though I'm a wee bit embarrassed to take off more time to nurse the same damn cold!

Anyway, that's my rant for the day. Out damn cold, out!

Hope you all are feeling better than I am, and writing just as much!

Some days off

2009-11-08T12:56:00.003-05:00

We have Wednesday off in honor of Veteran's Day, and so I took tomorrow and Tuesday off too, just for fun. I have no real agenda for these days, though as anyone who knows me can predict, I do have a long list of things I'd like to get done. That said, in honor of MeMo (MeditationMonth), I am planning to play it by ear, just doing what I want to do when I want to do it. No pressure on myself to complete anything in particular.

Here are some of the things I think I'll feel like doing/hope to get done sometime relatively soon:

Write everyday
Meditate everyday
Make some cool napkin rings for Thanksgiving
Frame some photos to give as gifts
Alter a few pieces of clothing to make them more comfortable/useful
Continue knitting Baby Emma's sweater
Paint the stairs
Work on my Bug room (aka home office)
Rake leaves and winterize the backyard
Make my wedding photo album (5+ years after the fact!)
Try some new recipes
Watch artist-themed movies I have from Netflix (Pollack and Frida, at the moment)

Let's see what the spirit moves me to actually do!

Sunday Scribblings: Interview

2009-11-08T11:20:00.006-05:00

My parents and me at my grad school graduation.

I don't know what prompted me to check out Sunday Scribblings just now, but I'm glad I did. The topic is interview, and immediately I thought of a project I have been meaning to do for ages, but that I keep backing away from. I want to interview my parents, on tape, about their childhoods. My dad grew up in Germany during WWII, so clearly he has a lot of important stories that should be recorded. My mom had a less historically significant childhood, but one that I am personally curious about none the less.

Also, I think back to these tapes my brothers and I made of my grandparents when we were kids. Sometimes we would press "record" without telling them, and capture snippits of fights or conversations about mundane details of life, like what's for dinner. After they died, being able to listen to their voices was such a gift for all of us.

I think I shy away from doing this because my family is not a particularly touchy feely one. We don't talk about emotions, or even what's important to us as much as I wish we did. So it's scary. It feels like I'm taking a sailboat into emotionally choppy waters with a crew that has never experiences those waves before.

But as scary as it is, I know it's something I will regret if I don't do. I promise, with this blog as my witness, to get recordings made over the holidays.

Ripped from the headlines....and NaNo update

2009-11-04T11:43:00.004-05:00

In my writing classes, I often use news stories as writing prompts. When I read this news story about a murdered woman whose body was identified 55 years after she died, it grabbed my attention as something that could spark a number of fictional stories. (I post this with no disrespect to her family intended.) So if anyone's looking for a writing prompt, consider yourself served.

Yesterday, on day 3 of NaNo, I finished a draft of chapter 2 of my novel in progress. Today I'm going to type it up (I've been writing long hand) so I can send it to my critique group. Then tomorrow, I'll start on chapter 3, hopefully making up for today's lack of freshly written words.

I'm fairly amazed with myself for getting a whole chapter done already! It's challenging to move this quickly though, so I'm glad to take a night off from moving my characters forward. I need a little time to percolate.

And now I'm off to have some tea-- one of the plus sides of cold evenings is an intense craving for tea.

Music and writing

2009-11-03T10:40:00.004-05:00

I had an annoying evening last night--my train was delayed because of wet leaves on the tracks (Really MBTA? Wet leaves? You didn't expect wet leaves on the tracks in the fall? Maybe you could, I don't know, CLEAR THE TRACKS OVER THE WEEKEND, LIKE I RAKE MY DAMN YARD?) and a dog that is willfully REFUSING to be trained. (Maybe his name, Rufus, comes from a play on refuse.)

So when I got to my NaNo time, I was not in the mood to write. But it was only day 2, and damn it if I'm giving up that easily. I started writing, and then found myself distracted by Facebook and the web in general. I turned off the computer and took my notebook to my bedroom, where I shut the door to get away from said annoying Rufus. But I could hear him pawing at the door to get in.

My Ipod happened to be nearby, so I plugged in the earbuds and tuned into one of my favorite bands, Iron and Wine. I usually can't write with music, but for whatever reason last night it helped me get in the zone. I think the choice of bands was important--I know Iron and Wine's songs so well that I can appreciate them without listening too hard. Plus, the feel of the music is what I'm trying to get across in my writing, so the tones matched.

I just tried listening to music while doing editing for my day job, but that didn't work. The stuff I'm editing is pretty scientific and complex, and the music was just distracting. My conclusion? Music is a good sometimes accompaniment for my writing.

How about you? Do you listen to music when you write?

(Oh, and I'm not sure who created the adorable image I posted here, so I can't give credit, but I do want to link to a place where you can buy shirts with the image on them.)

NaNoWriMo: Day 1

2009-11-01T20:03:00.003-05:00

Here's a short look at NaNo Day 1:

Slept late (thank you daylight savings!)

Went for a long walk with sis-in-law and Rufus (the dog)

Read for a while, and contemplated taking a nap

Got a text from two NaNo buddies (in fact, I met them during last year's NaNo and have become friends)that they were coming over for our write in

Frantically cleaned house and made coffee

Chatted for a while, drank Irish coffees, ate lots of pumpkin bars I had made two days ago

Then wrote 5 pages!

Made a bunch of yummy food: Butternut Squash Pizza, salad, and mixed veggie curry with basmati rice

Ate some of the curry; divvied the rest of the food into tupperware to take for lunches

Wrote 1 more page to reach my daily goal of 6 pages!!

Now off to fold some laundry, and then meditate.

Om and Happy Writing to all!

Good quote

2009-10-31T17:41:00.001-04:00

When a person is lucky enough to live inside a story, to live inside an imaginary world, the pains of this world disappear. For as long as the story goes on, reality no longer exists.
~Paul Auster in his novel Brooklyn Follies

Bye Bye October

2009-10-31T15:52:00.003-04:00

On this last day of the month, I thought I'd revisit the October to-do list I posted ealier, and see what I actually got done.

Tasks I completed
Finished one of the baby sweaters I'm making for my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's babies, in time for the baby shower and the baby's birth! I also ordered the yarn I needed to finish the other baby sweater.

Got the short short "Marriages Mysteries" revised. Waiting for a friend's comments and then will send out.

Got the longer short story "Trying" revised and sent it out.

Sent out my body image essay (still need to get this out to more mags)

Wrote a pitch for the Coupling column of the Boston Globe

Didn't get to:
Write a pitch for an article on simultaneous submissions and find some writing mags where it might find a home.

Write a pitch for Utube's first literary journal, Shape of a Box. (Though I did brainstorm about this and plan to go back to it.)

Extra writing I did that wasn't on my list
Worked on a story titled Obit Artist. It's based on something I started last fall, but then left simmering on the back burner until now. I plan to work on it a bit today in hopes of having a first draft done before WriMo begins tomorrow.

On a personal note, I'm not doing too much for Halloween this year, and I am just fine with that. We'll hand out candy and then head to B's aunt's and uncle's to hang outside with a fire pit and some drinks, watching the kiddies run around. I will leave you with a picture of the pumpkins we and some friends carved earlier in the season:

Also, I grew my very own pumpkin in the yard this year! Picture of the cutey to come...

2010: A Publishing Odyssey, Part II

2009-10-30T17:51:00.002-04:00

I plan to listen to Part I of this conference call this weekend (via the download feature on the website). Assuming I like it, I'll call in for Part II on November 4. The calls are supposed to cover the changing world of publishing, so I thought some of my readers might be interested too.

2010: A Publishing Odyssey, Part II

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NaNoWriMo, and also MeMo

2009-10-29T16:35:00.004-04:00

As some of you may have gathered from reading this blog or knowing me in real life, I have the teensiest problem handling stress. It's not that I can't keep cool in a stressful situation--those I'm generally fine with. It's that I can't relax when stress levels are at normal, everyday levels. So, basically, I'm stressed whenever I'm not in crisis mode or lying on a beach somewhere. I'm only slightly exaggerating.

I mention this now because I've decided to give myself a lifestyle makeover that includes lots of relaxation in November. What better time, right? Since I'll be trying to write 50,000 words that month? Wait...

This does make sense, I swear. I want to set up a daily or almost daily meditation routine (MeMo= Meditation Month). What has kept me from successfully doing this in the past is finding a dedicated time to fit it in. Most people suggest first thing in the morning, but clearly those people don't realize that if I sit on a cushion with my eyes closed directly after getting out of bed, I will fall asleep. And that's if I make it out of bed on time in the first place.

So my thinking is that for NaNo, I have to say no to lots of the things that normally keep me away from my house until late in the evening. Therefore, I theoretically should be able to set aside an hour before I go to bed to meditate. See, makes sense, right? I even bought a meditation cushion today.

Three more days until I officially break it in... and start NaNo!

Some NaNoWriMo inspired math

2009-10-26T13:38:00.003-04:00

Writing 50,000 words (the definition of a novel, according to NaNoWriMo) over the course of a month = writing 1,666.67 words a day.

250 words = a typical type-written, double-spaced page.

Therefore, writing a novel in a month = writing 6.67 pages a day.

Doesn't sound so tough when you break it down, does it?

Words of Wisdom on Writing

2009-10-22T20:52:00.003-04:00

Just in time for NaNoWriMo:

"Writing a novel--actually picking the words and filling in paragraphs--is a tremendous pain in the ass. Now that TV's so good and the Internet is an endless forest of ditraction, it's damn near impossible."
Steve Hely, in his novel How I Became a Famous Novelist

[As an aside, I didn't like this book. In fact, I stopped reading it half way. The constact stream of ironic humor kept me at a distance from the narrator, so I never started caring about what happened to him. That said, Brian loved the book, so clearly the voice appeals to some...just not me!]

Break time

2009-10-21T16:28:00.002-04:00

I just love this video, which talks about the benefits of sabbaticals. How nice would it be to take a year-long break from all your responsibilities every 7 years or so? Imagine what your mind and body would feel like--during that year, and then for the years after. I feel the tension in my shoulders draining just thinking about it.

I doubt I'll ever have the opportunity to take multiple year-long sabbaticals, but I am hoping to work shorter sabbaticals into my life through writers' retreats/colonies. I will surely show this to my boss(es) when I try to convince them to let me take some extended time off.

Best laid plans... (once again)

2009-10-21T13:42:00.003-04:00

OK, whoever created that schedule must have thought she was working with a super human who doesn't need to sleep, or any down time. As if yesterday, I could really: Go to work, commute home, let out the dogs and feed them, go to a 2 hour meeting for the Cultural Council, and then come home and write. Aside from the fact that I left myself no time for dinner, there's no way my little brain could focus on writing after a day like that.

So, my new plan is to write for a few hours tonight, and to write for a few hours each on Saturday and Sunday. Much simpler. Much more pleasant. Much more doable.

When I made this decision this morning (while writing my Artist-Way inspired morning pages), I felt an instant calm wash over me. I enjoyed my writing/reading time on the train for the first time all week. I enjoyed my walk from the train to my office. I felt like I could breath. Is there any better indication of a decision well made? I think not.

Libraries and e-books

2009-10-19T17:03:00.004-04:00

After reading this NY Times article on libraries buying and loaning e-books, I'm left with two clashing views. I love libraries. I borrow books just about every week. I read a ton, and if I were to buy every book I read, I'd be broke and have a house that was condemnable due to clutter. And in a broader sense, I think it's only right that literature be available to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. In this vein, I don't see why libraries shouldn't buy the rights to e-books and lend them out like they do traditional books.

That said, I know how much work goes into creating a book. Writers deserve to be paid for that work (much more than most published writers are currently paid). I hope to publish a book some day soon. I hope to make money off that book so I can devote more of my time to writing. So I'm sympathetic to the worries of publishers and authors that no one will buy an e-book if they can get it for free from their library. This argument doesn't apply in the same way to print books--when you buy a print book, you get something you can keep on your shelf and lend to a friend. The same is not true when you buy an e-book. So while I sometimes go out and buy books that I read in the library and really loved and want to own, I can't imagine the same would be true for something I read on my computer/Ipod/whatever other devise one might have.

I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this debate. Please comment away!

This week's schedule

2009-10-19T13:50:00.005-04:00

[Edited on Tuesday: I realize now that this plan is a wee bit too ambitious. I learned this when my body would not get out of bed this morning, which means no spin class for me. I will edit this post throughout the week and add bracketed notes describing how much of the schedule I actually stuck to. This is an important part of learning one's limits--another lesson I seem to need to learn again and again.]

October is slipping away too quickly! (I won't even talk about the fact that it SNOWED here this weekend, making it feel much more like March than October.) It's been a good month, filled with lots of fun social engagements. But, and this seems to be the story of my life, when my social calendar is full, my writing book is empty. Balancing these two needs--the need to feel connected to others and the need to write--is going to be my life's work, it seems. (If only I could ditch the need to work and the need to fulfill what can be lots of other obligations, I'd be all set.)

So, as I always do when life feels too hectic to get a handle on, I need to make a schedule. (I'm also tracking my exercise here, because that's another thing I can't live without if I want to stay sane.)Here goes:

Monday
Exercise: Yoga-pilates class
Writing: Journaling on train in the morning/Revising on computer in the evening
(Also have to fit a PT appointment in the evening, which I go to for chronic headaches)
[Got all of these items done. Whoo!]

Tuesday
Exercise: Spin class
Writing: I have a Cultural Council meeting in the evening. Will probably need to prep for that on the train ride in to work. I plan to go to Starbucks after the meeting to get my journaling/revising time in.
[No spin class, slept late instead.]

Wednesday
Exercise: Run, hopefully before work outside with Rufus (the dog) if the weather is nice.
Writing: Brian has class on Wednesday night, so I plan to take this time alone at home to really pound out some revisions. I'll journal on the train ride into work.

Thursday
Exercise: Nothing formal, some walking to and from the train/various out-of-the-office meetings.
Writing: Journaling on the way into work. Nothing else.
Evening: Volunteer ESL teaching at Unity Church

Friday
Exercise: Yoga class
Writing: Plan to head to a coffee shop to write before meeting some friends for dinner and this Bill Maher show (!).

Saturday
Exercise: Hike with Brian and the dogs
Writing: Will journal post-hike while B studies. Then we'll head to the Boston Book Festival.

Sunday
Exercise: Yoga class in the morning. Then errands. Then I'll head into Boston to work on writing in a coffee shop until book club at 5.

This feels like a good balance of writing and socializing. Let's see if I can pull it off...Wish me luck!

Easton's Cultural Corner

2009-10-18T13:50:00.001-04:00

As part of my role on the Cultural Council, I pitched a column to our local newspaper, The Easton Journal, covering cultural issues. They bit, and my first one was printed on Thursday. Check it out here!

Poetry Wheel

2009-10-14T22:27:00.011-04:00

A while back, I read somewhere about a poet who rented a booth at a fair and charged a dollar for a poem written on the spot, using a theme or words that the customer offered. Years later, I ran into a similar concept in a NYC subway station--a guy was sitting behind a table with a big sign that read "POEMS". For a donation, he would type up a poem on the spot on his typewriter and give it to you. I participated, and though I can't find the poem he wrote at the moment, I remember it was about a girl in a red coat (the color of coat that I was wearing).

When the Easton Cultural Council (which I am the publicity director for) wanted to come up with an activity we could bring to the town's Fall Festival, those two experiences came to mind. I googled around a bit, and voila! I found a kid-friendly poetry activity: The Poetry Wheel.

Luckily, a friend of one of the Council members had a wheel he made for carnival games at his temple. We borrowed it, and I made some word tags using words I cut out from magazines.

When I first suggested the poetry wheel concept, some members seemed a little hesitant: Would kids really want to write poems at a fair? Wouldn't it be too much like school?

We figured out the answer when, during the first hour of the fair, we got more kids than the three adults manning the booth could handle. We had a line! (Granted, we did offer them candy as a prize after they completed their poem. But even still, 9 out of 10 kids seemed to enjoy the writing part as much as the candy part.)

I just hope one of these budding poets will look back on the Poetry Wheel as one of the things during their childhood that inspired and excited them about writing.

(We also decorated the booth using lanterns made out of soda bottles and tissue paper. We're hoping to bring a lantern walk to Easton, similar to the lantern walk Brian and I participated in in Jamaica Plain for 10+ years.)

More on saying no

2009-10-13T16:08:00.003-04:00

If I believed in the universe sending me messages, I would take getting this article in my email box about the freedom that comes from being able to say no as a sign. Especially since it comes on the heals of my post about setting limits.

Along those lines, my friend Shannon just wrote about fitting creative pursuits into her life in a beautifully titled post, Row by Row.

Even if I don't believe the "universe" is sending me this message, I'm picking up on it none the less. Must. Say. No.

30 and Below? Not any more...

2009-10-13T10:44:00.004-04:00

I think of myself as someone who's not overly concerned about aging. But I'm starting to wonder if that's just because I'm still relatively young! A few things conspired to make me think about aging: I spent time with four generations of family this weekend, I was incredibly excited when I got carded at my cousins wedding, on the plane ride home I learned that I am not that much younger than People Magazine, and, most relevant to this blog's topic of creative living, I came across this contest for young writers. I clicked on the link announcing the contest and realized I'm too old to participate! Talk about a reality check...

Writerbug regrets that it is impossible, under any circumstances, for her to...

2009-10-07T20:19:00.006-04:00

I recently learned of a writing/poetry blog I really like, Book of Kells. Kelli has a post about productivity that I found especially relevent to me and to many of my friends, who are trying to accomplish much--and succeeding, though sometimes at the price of their happiness and sanity.

The post talks about a writer called Edmund Wilson, a very influential book critic in the 1920s. Here's how he dealt with being asked to do too many things: One, he didn't worry about trying to please everyone, which of course is impossible and only distracts you from the things that are important to YOU. And two, he used the following form letters to decline requests:

Edmund Wilson regrets that it is impossible for him without compensation to:

read manuscripts
contribute to books or periodicals
do editorial work
judge literary contests
deliver lectures
address meetings
make after-dinner speeches
broadcast;

Under any circumstances to:

contribute to or take part in symposiums
take part in chain-poems or other collective compositions
contribute manuscripts for sales
donate copies of his books to libraries
autograph books for strangers
supply personal information about himself
supply photographs of himself
allow his name to be used on letter-heads
receive unknown persons who have no apparent business with him.

Pretty awesome, no? What would your list look like, if you had the balls to hand it out?

My list of things I won't do would include:
Stop to hear your schpeel/sign your petition when I am exiting the grocery store

Plan office parties/buy going away presents even if it means that no one else is going to think to do it

Say yes to social engagements that I am not 100% excited about going to. (This already feels impossible, even in my imaginary life. I will ammend to say: "Say yes to social engagements that I am not 100% excited about unless the guilt regarding saying no feels too great." God I'm weak.)

Feel the need to keep friendships going when they don't seem to be nourishing either party

*********
If I could implement these things, I bet my life would feel much more balanced, especially in terms of getting to spend time with the people who really do nourish my soul. At the moment I seem to have many many more friends who I see every few months, than friends I get to see on a regular basis, as often and as much as I would like to.

That said, my priority at the moment is my writing, so some of that is my own doing. (Well, actually, my priority at this very moment is getting over this awful, awful cold, which has pretty much floored me.)

Looking forward to seeing your list!

Dear Diary

2009-10-04T21:15:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned previously, I went to see a show called Mortified recently, where people read from their teenage diaries. As expected, it was hysterically funny. It was also poignant.. The readers--men and women, people my age and much older--all wrote and read in different styles and different voices, but so much of the content was the same. It involved boyfriend/girlfriend drama, friends being mean to each other or leaving one another out, people and relationships changing with time... It struck me that adolescence is a time when we all feel so alone, yet in reality, we are all going through the same things.

When I was thinking about writing this post, I realized that that fact isn't just true of adolescence--as life goes by, many of the problems we face are things that feel so isolated, yet that many people face. I don't think there's much of a solution for this. Heartbreak and difficulties seem to inherently make you feel alone, no matter if you know that others are dealing with, or have dealt with, the same thing. But maybe keeping that thought in mind can help getting through that loneliness a little easier.

October To Dos, and NaNoWriMo

2009-10-02T15:15:00.003-04:00

October has a special feeling to it now that I'm committed to doing NaNoWriMo again**. I feel like I imagine a mother might feel in the last month of pregnancy, when she's scrambling to get a bunch of things done before she has to devote all her time to her baby. (More on the parallels between writing and motherhood another day.)

So here are the writing/creative things I want to get done in October, pre-NaNo:

+ Finish the two baby sweaters I'm making for my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's babies.

+ Get the short short "Marriages Mysteries" revised and send it out.

+ Get the longer short story "Trying" revised and send it out.

+ Send out my body image essay

+ Write a pitch for the Coupling column of the Boston Globe

+ Write a pitch for an article on simultaneous submissions and find some writing mags where it might find a home.

+ Write a pitch for Utube's first literary journal, Shape of a Box. (Love the concept!)

I'm slightly tired from just typing this all, but I think it can get done.

**I am not going to follow the NaNo rules 100%, as I did last year. I am in the process of completely rewriting my NaNo manuscript from last year. Basically I'm using the idea and the characters that came out of all that writing, but I'm not using the actual writing at all. I don't want to interrupt that process to start on another novel. So I'm going to continue working on my second draft of that first novel, with the goal of getting 50,000 words of it (re)written in November. In any case, November is going to be completed devoted to writing, and that's the point of NaNo, right?

What a difference a year makes

2009-10-01T17:31:00.003-04:00

I'm dashing this off before running to meet a friend to see Mortified, a hilarious-sounding piece of performance art where people read from their teenage diaries. I'm feeling a little anxious about going--this is a new friend and I'm realizing more and more what an introvert I'm becoming and how these acts of reaching out unnerve me. That's the reason I'm taking the time to write this now, since writing is one of the things that reliably centers me (walking is the other).

Last year this time was the hardest time of my life. For reasons too personal to share here, last fall was a time filled with darkness and depression for me. I'm reminded so heavily of that time now, as the anniversary of this dismal period is upon me. For example, last year this time, I could not get up the energy or initiative to start up a NaNoWriMo group in Easton, even though I wanted so badly to learn more about the writing and arts scene in our new town. I remember hating myself for not having the focus to do that. (Luckily, Brian stepped up and did this without my help.) This year, on the other hand, I am so excited to welcome NaNo into my life, and I will be contacting our library soon to see about hosting some write ins.

There are other "fun" things, like hosting a French cooking class at my house and having my family over for Thanksgiving, that I look back on and realize how much energy they took up--so much more so than usual because pretending to be OK and happy sucks out whatever little life there is in you when you're depressed.

I know a few friends who are going through some tough times right now. Divorces. Difficult pregnancies. Stresses of kids and working. So I'm posting this now to say, Hang in there. This fall might be truly awful. But in a year, you might look back on this and say, "Phew. So glad that's over and I'm happy again." I hope you can.

Where I write

2009-09-27T21:29:00.004-04:00

Check it out, I'm featured on the NaNoWriMo blog! (Along with my cat, Boom Boom)

[34 days until NaNoWriMo 2009!]

Writers' Group Feedback

2009-09-20T22:03:00.003-04:00

As I posted on Friday, I had my first meeting with a novel writing group this week. I got great feedback on the first chapter of my novel (3rd+ draft of said chapter...). I thought I would record some of the edits want to make in the next draft here. I want to move ahead and get the 3rd draft of chapter two finished, so this post will serve as a reminder of what I took away from my groups' comments when I get back to chapter 1.

Opening: Move the section where Emily swings on the ledge of the balcony up, and the part about listening to the party noise below it.

Throughout: Watch the mentions of the rain. A bit heavy handed/seemingly metaphorical.

Scene with Hugh: Make it more distinct from scene with David. Maybe Hugh gets mad that she didn't tell him about her sister's death. He definitely should be aggressive and push her toward contacting Colin. Then the chapter will end with her not quite deciding what to do yet.

*******
typ Things to do
I want to end with a short list of things I hope to get done this week:

**Finish typing up long-hand version of chapter 2; then go back and write out longhand the end of that chapter.

**Apply to the two writers' residencies I flagged

**Revise Darfur and Marriages' Mysteries

How to: Make a Journal

2009-09-20T19:47:00.005-04:00

I recently discovered that I love writing in small, spiral notebooks. I find them easy to carry, I like the thickness of the lines, and for whatever reason, I found myself more compelled to write in it than the pretty journal I bought.

That said, I wanted to pretty it up a bit. So I went to my old staple of a craft, collaging.

Brian and I happened to be at the dollar store earlier that day, and I found a book of vintage images there for, you guessed it, a dollar--originally priced $25!

I chose this image to serve as my background:

In my mind, the key to collaging is not using regular old glue. It leaves too many lumpy bumps. So instead, I water the glue down. I pour a puddle of glue into a disposable cup (this one recycled from Brian's breakfast), and add water until the glue is about the consistency of pea soup. I stir the concoction with a straw or coffee stirrer.

This time, I painted the glue onto the notebook cover using a corner of a sponge because I couldn't find a paintbrush.

Next I looked through my image book and cut out anything that spoke to me and added it to the background:

I added an envelope to the inside front cover to hold any random images/words I find inspiring and cut out from magazines or other media. Of course, I couldn't leave that envelope plain, so I collaged that with some of said inspiring words:

And tah-dah! A functional, interesting journal that I can't help smiling every time I write in.

Random thoughts on a fall Friday

2009-09-18T11:42:00.002-04:00

I met with a new writing group last night. It's made up mostly of people who were in the novel writing class I took last fall at the Harvard Extension School, along with someone from my MFA program and a friend of one of my classmates. This is the first time I'm in a group that focuses solely on novel writing. We're meeting once a month, discussing half the groups' chapters at a time. I'm looking forward to giving and getting feedback about my novel from people who are reading it a chapter at a time, like any reader would. Plus, since most of us came from the same class, we have a similar style/vocabulary around workshopping, which made it feel like a comfortable fit from the get go.

+++++++++

My BCAE writers' retreat class was canceled due to low enrollment. While I am disappointed, I'm also grateful to have an unexpected chunk of time free. I plan to walk with the dogs in the woods near my house, go on a bike ride with Brian, and organize my shed into a gardening shed, instead of a holder-of-random-crap shed.

I think the low enrollment has to do with the cost of the class--they charge $90 for a 4 hour workshop, which seems like a lot, especially in this economy. I'm going to talk to them about changing the price, and also about altering the time/day from Saturday morning to a weeknight class that meets for 3 hours instead of 4.

+++++++++

I have a lot of photos of some creative projects I've worked on recently--a journal I collaged a cover for, a lantern I made, and a shawl I knit. Hoping to post some photos/how-tos this weekend.

++++++++
I just stumbled across this wonderful bookstore, located in Western Mass, Montague Bookmill. It's described as:
"a used bookstore housed in an 1842 gristmill, set on the banks of the Sawmill River,a few miles north of Northampton and Amherst, Massachusetts. The mill building is also home to a unique cafe, a gourmet restaurant, an antique shop, and an artists studio."

I think I have to make a trip west to check this place out!

+++++++
Lastly, I learned about this awesome website, VeggieTrader.com, where gardeners can post if they have too much of one crop and want to trade it for another home-grown plant. That way if you get way too many cucumbers, instead of letting them go to waste, you can trade them for tomatoes or something else.
It seems to just be getting started, and the more people who use it, the better it will be. So spread the word, please!

+++++++

Have a good weekend, all!

Book lovers unite!

2009-09-17T16:26:00.006-04:00

Who knew there was such a thing as Book Blogger Appreciation Week? (Poetmom, that's who!) It's a week to "recognize the hard work and contribution of book bloggers to the promotion and preservation of a literate culture actively engaged in discussing books, authors, and a lifestyle of reading." A lifestyle of reading. I like that!

In honor of BBAW, I'm completing this meme. (Mostly its because I love talking, writing, blogging about books.) Let me know if you do, too!

You and Your Reading Habits

1. Do you snack while you read? If so, favorite reading snack? Sure. I snack all the time. No particular favorites though at the moment I'm addicted to cheese Pirate's Booty. (Getting a craving as I type...)

2. Do you tend to mark your books as you read, or does the idea of writing in books horrify you? I only mark certain books, like how-to books. Sometimes I will underline in fiction books if I feel the book has a lot to teach me about story telling. For example, I just bought a second copy of Ann Patchett's Magician's Assistant so I could underline how she shows the main character's emotions without telling the reader what she is feeling. I couldn't write in my first copy because Ann Patchett signed it, and writing in that copy would be sacrilege!

3. How do you keep your place while reading a book? Bookmark? Dog-ears? Laying the book flat open? Usually bookmarked with random paper, like ATM receipts.

4. Fiction, Non-fiction, or both? My first love is fiction, but I throw in poetry and non-fiction from time to time.

5. Hard copy or audiobooks? Both. There's nothing better than knitting and listening to a good audiobook by the fire on a cold evening.

6. Are you a person who tends to read to the end of chapters, or are you able to put a book down at any point? I read to the end of chapters.

7. If you come across an unfamiliar word, do you stop to look it up right away? No. I try to remember to do so when I'm by my computer/dictionary, though.

8. What are you currently reading? One Secret Thing, poems by Sharon Olds (Another shout out to PoetMom for suggesting this wonderful collection)

9. What is the last book you bought? Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. (I read a library copy first, and then bought it so I can underline and savor it.)

10. Are you the type of person that only reads one book at a time or can you read more than one at a time? I almost always have a few books going at the same time. Some are better commute reads, some at-home reads, etc.

11. Do you have a favorite time of day and/or place to read? Any time I can. I do cherish my commuter train reading time.

12. Do you prefer series books or stand alone books? Stand alone.

13. Is there a specific book or author that you find yourself recommending over and over? Ann Patchett, Timetraveler's wife, Bird by Bird by Ann Lamott

14. How do you organize your books? (By genre, title, author’s last name, etc.?) I guess by subject...Fiction books are generally all together, then how-to books, etc. But in general, I'm not very organized with my collection. I like the juxtaposition of serious books with funny ones, poetry with classical fiction.

To Dos

2009-09-11T16:56:00.003-04:00

As readers of this blog know, I am an avid list-maker. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, and so I am hoping that making and posting this list of things to do will calm me down/organize me. Here goes:

* Promote the writing retreat I'm leading at the Boston Center for Adult Ed next Saturday. (Speaking of which, please check it out, dear readers!

*Look at some old stories to see if they are ready to submit: Rest of June, Darfur, Marriages Mysteries (by end of the month)

*Type up the notes from chapter 2 (of my novel). Continue writing it. I would love to have a draft by mid-October.

*Submit, submit, submit.

And in the spirit of patting myself on the back, here are some "recently dones"

* Organize lists of journals to submit to, and journals I have submitted to and been rejected from (wah.)

* Send first chapter of revised novel to writer's group

* Send essay on body image to MFA friends for review

Hope everyone has a nice (if rainy, in New England at least) weekend!

Fall time

2009-09-08T16:57:00.006-04:00

I've been thinking about time a lot this past week. The change of season prompted some of this. In the summer, time seems both very limited and in abundance. The days are so long, giving me the feeling of, why rush? There will be light for hours still. On the other hand, though, there are so many things I want to pack into each warm-weather day, knowing as I do that they are in short supply. So in that way, time feels very short.

Of course, when time is short, I feel rushed and overwhelmed, feelings I just don't deal with well. And one of the thing that often suffers from my lack of time is my writing. I was careful not to let this happen too much this summer, but I definitely didn't get as much work done on my novel as I hoped.

And so, as we enter fall, I'm left with the feeling of, will I ever get this novel done?? Part of the solution is to learn some patience. Another part is to use the shorter, cooler days of fall to hibernate a bit more, saying no to some social activities to make more time for my writing.

Themes
As these things go, once I started thinking about my time problem, I started noticing lots of other mentions to other people's time issues. Here's a paragraph from an article on Salon.com that I particularly liked:
"You may not feel ready to do something that is necessary. You do not control the timetable. This is evident when people die, are born, get married, move away, are fired, hired, change their minds: You are not ready for what the changes in the world around you require you to do. Nonetheless, you deal.
You don't have a lot of time. You don't get a lot of chances. People get ready, there's a train a-coming. Don't need no ticket, you just get on board."

I also realized that I've posted a number of times on time issues, so clearly this is a theme in my life.

Lastly, I came across this lovely quote regarding how to use time. I love it in that it applies to so much, not just farming and crops.
"It will not always be summer. Build barns."
~Hesiod

Happy fall!

Umbrella art

2009-09-05T11:24:00.003-04:00

I'm heading away for the weekend, but I leave you with a picture of an art installation project that I found very interesting and inspiring. Amazing what you can do with everyday objects.

Click for more umbrella art.

braiding story lines

2009-09-03T14:30:00.003-04:00

While I was away, I took the time to catch up on lots of issues of Writer's Digest. One of the articles I read talked about how, when writing a novel,you need three stories lines that run throughout the book. These story lines should be interwoven, just like the strands of a braid.

I found that to be a useful concept when thinking about my novel. I decided that the three story lines are:
1- What happened to Carrie (the main character's sister) that made her commit suicide.
2- Emily (main character) and David's relationship. Will they open up to one another and take a chance on love?
3- The sisters' family and early life, and the current relationships Emily has with her parents(or lack thereof).

Anyway, this video also reminded me of the idea of braiding, though it only uses two strands, and it's more of a study in contrasts and similarities than a true interweaving. In any case, I think it will be helpful to those of us thinking about story telling. And it's funny and about the Red Sox to boot.

Canadian Writers Retreat: In Photos, Part 1

2009-09-02T22:12:00.002-04:00

One of the first things Tavi, Tracy, and I did when we got to the beautiful Haliburton, Canada, (no relation to that evil Haliburton company) was take a stroll through the Haliburton Sclupture Park. It was beautiful, and even the sculptures we didn't like very much were entertaining (see the beaver/lamppost picture).

Here's a slideshow of some of my favorites photos from that day. I'll try to make another slideshow soon that shows how we spent most of the week--writing by the lake. Here's Slide Show, part 1:

Sunday Scribblings: Poetry

2009-08-29T18:17:00.002-04:00

This week's Sunday Scribblings prompt, Poetry, is so timely for me. One of the things I wanted to do with my week away was to read some poetry, and I have read, and listened to, Mary Oliver's beautiful poems.

I'm not quite brave enough to write and share a poem on the blog yet, since I don't, by far, consider myself a poet. What I want to do instead is share some of my favorite lines/phrases from Oliver's poems from the book Thirst.

*My work is loving the world.*

*the lovely meaninglessness of time*

*For a long time I was not even in this world*

*How to keep warm is always a problem, isn't it?*

*From the complications of loving you/ I think there is no end or return.*

*You have broken my heart./ Just as well.*

*In the city called Wait,/ also known as the airport,/ you might think about your life--/there is not much else to do.*

Beautiful, no? For more poems and writing about poetry, head over to Sunday Scribblings.

Alice Munro

2009-08-29T18:02:00.002-04:00

I am such an Alice Munro freak, I once drove from Boston to New York to see her speak. And it was worth it, even though my car broke down and blocked traffic in the middle of NYC.

It's funny, then, that I'm learning about a new book of hers, Too Much Happiness, while I'm in her home country of Canada. And I am so happy to share this wonderful review published in Canada's Globe and Mail.

My favorite line is: "Most importantly, these stories are not asking for our praise, they ask for our attention. They...ask...for silence – and not an awed silence at that (though awe is certainly possible), but the silence that happens when you close a book and pause and continue with your life, less lonely than you were before."

That sentence sums up what I look for what I read, and write.

What I'm reading

2009-08-29T00:23:00.002-04:00

I'm taking some of my retreat time to catch up on the articles I've been meaning to read. I thought I'd share some of them with you, dear readers. The first one I'm getting to is a commencement speach David Foster Wallace gave to Kenyon College 2005 graduates, sent to me by my brilliant friend Megan, who always passes along the best articles.

Some of my favorite quotes from the article:
"And I submit that this is what the real, no-bull- value of your liberal-arts education is supposed to be about: How to keep from going through your comfortable, prosperous, respectable adult life dead, unconscious, a slave to your head and to your natural default-setting of being uniquely, completely, imperially alone, day in and day out."

"There happen to be whole large parts of adult American life that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. One such part involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration." [This reminded me very much of some of the article I read in last week's Sunday Scribbling posts on the prompt "Adult"]

"The point is that petty, frustrating crap like this is exactly where the work of choosing comes in. Because the traffic jams and crowded aisles and long checkout lines give me time to think, and if I don't make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I'm going to be pissed and miserable every time I have to food-shop, because my natural default-setting is the certainty that situations like this are really all about me, about my hungriness and my fatigue and my desire to just get home, and it's going to seem, for all the world, like everybody else is just in my way, and who are all these people in my way?"

"But if you've really learned how to think, how to pay attention, then you will know you have other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, loud, slow, consumer-hell-type situation as not only meaningful but sacred, on fire with the same force that lit the stars -- compassion, love, the sub-surface unity of all things. Not that that mystical stuff's necessarily true: The only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're going to try to see it. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship..."

"The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about making it to 30, or maybe 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head. It is about simple awareness -- awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, that we have to keep reminding ourselves, over and over: "This is water, this is water."

It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive, day in and day out."

One of the heartbreaking things about this speach is how often Wallace talks about suicide, years before he killed himself.

Question for other writers. Please discuss.

2009-08-28T19:24:00.002-04:00

When you're submitting your work, do you submit to contests with fees? If so, how much do you spend per year? How do you decide which are worth paying to join?

I ask because I tend to avoid contests with fees, because it seems that $10 or $15 contests could add up very quickly. But one of the writers with whom I am on retreat said that the two publications she has gotten were both through contests. And she admitted that she spends a lot on entering them. So I'm wondering what others do. Please comment.

On retreat

2009-08-27T17:55:00.002-04:00

I am in beautiful Haliburton, Canada, on a self-directed writing retreat with two of my wonderful friends from my MFA program. So far, our days have been filled with:

Reading
Kayaking
Lunch
Writing
Meditation
Naps
Writing
Delicious and nourishing dinner
Writing/reading/listening to poetry on CD

Could life get any better?

I'm working on chapter 2 of my novel, and some other miscellaneous writing tasks. And I am more relaxed than I thought I could be. Pictures coming soon.

My new favorite quote

2009-08-24T20:40:00.000-04:00

"A work of art is, first of all, work."

~Paul Engle

Creative gifting

2009-08-24T12:02:00.005-04:00

One of my favorite creative outlets is gift giving. What better way to use your creative/crafty talents than by sharing them with the ones you love?

This is one of my go-to gifts for new parents: a diaper cake!

It's very simple to make, and people seem to love them. Here's a step by step:

1. Buy a pretty plate, preferably something with the design on the edge of the plate, so you can see it when the "cake" is on it.

2. Buy diapers, and roll about 20 individual diapers, tying each with a ribbon.

3. Then place the rolled diapers on the plate, standing them up longwise. Use enough of the rolls to cover the main part of the plate. Then tie another ribbon around the whole layer of diapers.

4. Repeat, making the second and third layers smaller, so the cake is tiered.

5. For the finishing touch, I use basket wrap, which you can get at craft stores. It's basically a cellophane bag that you place the gift in, tie the top with yet another ribbon, and then use your blowdryer to make the cellophane shrink to fit the gift. If you don't want to buy this type of wrapper, you could also use colored saran wrap.

You can also tuck little gifts into the tier ties, such as pacifiers or small toys.

Ta-dah! A gift that's sure to be a hit at your next baby shower.

Submissions Fatigue

2009-08-23T22:09:00.003-04:00

I am sitting here, submitting some stories to some journals, and wondering why I find this process so damn draining. I try to make it as painless as possible--Before "submission day," I create a list of journals I want to submit a particular story to, along with the pertinent information about how the journal prefers to accept submissions, the editor's name, etc. That way, when I finally have some free time, I can open the file and run quickly down the list.

In theory. In reality, it takes me hours to submit one story to eight journals. Why? Part of it is that I want to double check everything on my list, to make sure I don't screw up the email address, or whether a journal wants stories mailed and printed in a particular type of font.

Another part of it is that I find it emotionally taxing--No matter how "used" to rejection I get, I still don't enjoy sending my babies out to the slaughter. So I try to give myself frequent, short breaks so as not to overwhelm my system.

Anyone have a better system than the one I described? If so, I'd love to hear about it. Off to bed... wishing my stories good luck out there in the world!

Sunday Scribblings: Adult

2009-08-22T22:18:00.005-04:00

I haven't Scribbled in a long, long time. But since I'm trying to reinvigorate my blogging (as I posted about here), I figured I'd return to an old favorite way to get my writing.

On this week's Sunday Scribblings prompt, this question about adulthood spoke to me the most: Are you glad to finally be an adult? I thought about this question the other day, when I heard some fellow commuters talking about their teenagers. The parents were saying how lucky the teens had it--they didn't have bills to pay or jobs to worry about. I shook my head and thought to myself, How wrong those people are. I will take bills and jobs and car troubles and relationship problems and all the other downsides of adult life over the many downsides of being a teen. The most prominent one in my memory? How poorly developed my sense of myself was.

With every passing year, I get to know myself that much better. And with that knowledge comes a sense of confidence that I just couldn't have had as a teenager. I didn't trust that I had the strength to get through the minor challenges that I barely think about now. I remember crying so hard when the Amtrak train I was supposed to get on was oversold and there was no more room for me. I was 19 or so, heading back to college after winter break. When the train stopped at Penn Station, even the doorways were crammed with people sitting on their suitcases.

As the train pulled away, tears of frustration filled my eyes. I didn't know what else to do. I pictured train after train coming into the station already full, and my being stuck in Penn Station forever.

Now, when things like that happen, I know that even if I can't get a fair or reasonable response from the people in charge (as was the case when I tried to get someone to explain to me how they could sell more tickets for a train than there were seats on that train--why have me make a reservation for a particular train if that reservation is meaningless?), I can take care of myself. I can buy a bus ticket instead, or rent a car. I can call someone to see if I can spend the night on their couch and catch a train the next day. I can sleep in the train station if I really have to.

I can also deal with the anger and frustration that comes with these situations by venting out loud or in my head. By knowing that when I get home, I WILL be getting a refund for that train ticket if I had to spend more money on an alternate mode of transportation. And I know that no matter what happens, I'll be OK. I'm smart enough and strong enough to figure something out.

As a teenager, I didn't know that about myself. And I wouldn't trade that knowledge for anything--not the ability to sleep in every day of the summer, not the ignorance of credit card late fees, none of it.

What are your thoughts on adulthood? For others' take on the subject, check out Sunday Scribblings.